LifeLimiting Illness

End Game Documentary and Discussion

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Excited to co-host and participate on the panel for the launch of the 2018-9 season of "The 100% Certainty Project. Death: Something to Talk About". Join us for a screening of the Netflix documentary, "END GAME" followed by a conversation with Palliative Care clinicians.

Our free public event at McMaster University features the brilliant documentary "End Game" from Shoshana Ungerleider, MD highlighting the essential tenets of Hospice Palliative Care. The film showcases the collaboration, compassion and communication as the heart of person and family-centred care at UCSF Medical Center with Steven Pantilat and the extraordinary interprofessional team. The film also highlights the brilliant work of Zen Hospice Project, showcasing Dr. BJ Miller and the extraordinary interprofessional team in Hospice.

Please join us for this engaging event! While the event is free, registration is required via Eventbrite via https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/end-game-documentary-and-discussion-tickets-50535681584

Breaking Down Barriers in the Context of Complex Illness, Uncertainty and Grief

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Am truly honoured to be presenting "Breaking Down Barriers in the Context of Complex Illness, Uncertainty and Grief" at the Ontario College of Social Workers and Social Service Workers 2018 Annual Meeting and Education Day.

Serious illness, dying and grief remain taboo in society, yet the diagnosis of a serious illness has a profound impact on an individual and their loved ones, and often results in feelings of uncertainty, isolation and grief.

This presentation will explore the role of social work and social service work in providing compassionate care for individuals and families of all ages following the diagnosis of a complex illness, at end of life and into bereavement. I will speak to the roles of social work and social service work in providing education to demystify these issues and further advocate to break down barriers while promoting greater access to support, within our own practice and within our communities.

For more information, please visit:  http://www.ocswssw.org/members/amed/2018-amed/

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Breaking Down Barriers: The Role of Social Work and Social Service Work in the Context of Complex Illness, Uncertainty and Grief

Honoured to present "Breaking Down Barriers: The Role of Social Work and Social Service Work in the Context of Complex Illness, Uncertainty and Grief" at the OCSWSSW 2018 AMED.

"Serious illness, dying and grief remain taboo in society, yet the diagnosis of a serious illness has a profound impact on an individual and their loved ones, and often results in feelings of uncertainty, isolation and grief. This presentation will explore the role of social work and social service work in providing compassionate care for individuals and families of all ages following the diagnosis of a complex illness, at end of life and into bereavement.

Elizabeth will speak to the roles of social work and social service work in providing education to demystify these issues and further advocate to break down barriers while promoting greater access to support, within our own practice and within our communities." 

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For information, or to register, please visit: OCSWSSW

FREE resources for families facing illness, uncertainty, grief and loss

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Am honoured to have been part of the development team for the latest resource, Kids Grief, which was just launched on the first National Bereavement Day in Canada. I believe it is important to share these valuable resources for individuals and families facing illness, uncertainty, grief and loss. This information is also helpful for any healthcare professional or volunteer wanting more information and resources when providing support in acute care, primary care or within a community setting.

The Canadian Virtual Hospice provides support and personalized information about palliative and end-of-life care to patients, family members, health care providers, researchers and educators. (Source: Canadian Virtual Hospice)

Kids Grief (0-18 yrs.) http://kidsgrief.ca/

Talking with Kids and Teens about Dying and Death. What do I tell the kids? How do I support them? A free online resource to provide guidance to parents on how to support children who are grieving the dying or death of someone in their life. It equips parents with the words and confidence to help their children grieve losses in healthy ways. (Source: Canadian Virtual Hospice)

How the fear of dying taught me how to live

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"Live. Put your phone down. Talk to the person in front of you. Hold the door for people. Smile if someone catches your eye. Say thank you. Say please. Give hugs. Compliment people. Compliment yourself. Love yourself. No one will remember what size the pants are you are wearing but they will remember the way you walked in them. So walk softly. Speak boldly. Love gently. Laugh loudly. Call someone if they cross your mind. Allow yourself to be happy for others, and most importantly allow yourself to be happy for yourself, through every stage and step of your life. Be happy. Life doesn't have to be perfect for it to be perfect."

Source: How the fear of dying taught me how to live

Cancer Mythbusters: Is Palliative Care Only for End-of-Life Patients?

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"Palliative Care is an often misunderstood specialty, focused on providing support and pain management strategies to cancer patients throughout all stages of their illness. This approach, which can be blended into curative cancer therapy, focuses on care for the whole person: mind, body, and spirit."

Source: Cancer Mythbusters - Is Palliative Care Only for End-of-Life Patients?

Calling for a Palliative Care Culture

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Palliative Care is the future of medicine "It has social and political dimensions that spring from its grounding in a commitment to relieve total pain, which includes spiritual pain."

Source: Calling for a Palliative Care Culture

Joe Primo on Supporting Grieving Children

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"There is a cultural narrative that tells us that bad things don’t happen to good people. As a result, we spend a lot of time protecting kids from natural life events, like death."

Source: Joe Primo on Supporting Grieving Children. Option B

 

10 Things My Chronic Illness Taught My Children

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"All three of us work to maintain balance — knowing when we need to flex and when we need to release, when to put pain first and when to let it fade into the moment."

Source: 10 Things My Chronic Illness Taught My Children

Patients feel psycho-social impact of chemo more acutely than physical side effects

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Highlighting the need for integrated Person and Family-Centred Care...

"The results show that there might be a gap between what doctors think is important or disturbing for patients, and what patients really think. Physical, psychological, social and spiritual support is needed at every stage of the disease" 

Source: Patients feel psycho-social impact of chemo more acutely than physical side effects. MedicalXpress

Death: A Part of Life. A 5-Part Mini Series (podcast)

Am honoured to have been a guest panelist on the final instalment of Death: A Part of Life - Part 5: The Grieving Process.

This informative 5-Part radio series with the Dr. Bob Kemp Hospice aired on CHML 900. Each week panelists including caregivers and healthcare professionals convened to open up a conversation about dying, death, grief and loss. The series explores issues such as: coping with the diagnosis of a serious illness; demystifying hospice palliative care; exploring available supports and services; advance care planning; the dying process and grieving which ultimately impacts us all.

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The links to the podcasts of Death: A Part of Life are listed below:

 Death, A Part Of Life - Part 1: Palliative Care

It’s a fact of life that at one point we all will die. But is it all as simple as that? Bill Kelly and the Bob Kemp hospice will be discussing grief, relief and the acceptance of passing away. On today’s show we discuss what happens when you’re told you don’t have much time left, and whether healthcare is asking too much of caregivers, and whether people are prepared for palliative care.

Death, A Part Of Life - Part 2: Changes To Palliative Care.

For our second show, we will discuss what the palliative care system is now, how it works and what changes need to be made. What does one of our local MPPs hear from his constituents about healthcare and in particular, palliative care? How would changes affect patients? Does fear have a hold on how we make our decisions once we’re diagnosed as palliative? An example of this is whether to choose palliative care or medically assisted death.

Death, A Part Of Life - Part 3: Religion and Palliative Care.

We continue our series this week with two topics. The first one will be discussing the experience of death. Everyone treats death in our world differently. But is it strictly a medical experience or is it a spiritual one? In our second half, we will talk about access to palliative care services in various sectors of our society. How do we help the vulnerable and the community obtain access to proper palliative care?

Death: A Part of Life - Part 4: Bucket lists and preparation.

Life should be celebrated at all stages, whether it be infancy, adulthood and as life comes to a close. So how can we make the most out of life? How can those who are in palliative care achieve their “bucket list” dreams before they pass, and how does it apply when it comes to their own personal circumstances? How do we define a “bucket list”? How wise is it to be prepared for eventual health issues? How should we plan for advanced care and how does it affect the family? How do we navigate through the difficult decisions and pain to provide care for loved ones who are palliative?

Death: A Part of Life - Part 5: The grieving process.

The final instalment in our series sees us discussing grief and how this isn’t just an event that happens in life but a process that families have to go through. How do families grieve the loss of a loved one? How can we support one another and how does grief affect children?

Source: Global News. AM 900 CHML

What can Palliative Care Do?

"When you are facing a serious illness, you need relief from symptoms. You need to better understand your condition and choices for care. You need to improve your ability to tolerate medical treatments. And, you and your family need to be able to carry on with everyday life. This is what palliative care can do." #SeriousIllness #PalliativeCare  

For more information visit Get Palliative Care

LETTING GO: What should medicine do when it can’t save your life?

“People have concerns besides simply prolonging their lives. Surveys of patients with terminal illness find that their top priorities include, in addition to avoiding suffering, being with family, having the touch of others, being mentally aware, and not becoming a burden to others. Our system of technological medical care has utterly failed to meet these needs, and the cost of this failure is measured in far more than dollars. The hard question we face, then, is not how we can afford this system’s expense. It is how we can build a health-care system that will actually help dying patients achieve what’s most important to them at the end of their lives.”

An Innovative Approach to Family-Centred Legacy Projects

I am a Palliative Social Worker and for the past 17 years have had the privilege of caring for people facing a life-limiting illness.  It is an intimate and profound experience - sitting alongside people as they face end-of-life.  They share their hopes and fears - about living and dying - and about caring for and leaving behind those they love.  Trying to protect their families while also wanting to prepare them.  Grieving these losses begins at time of diagnosis.

I recognize the importance of creating safe spaces and making time to have these essential conversations.  A specific legacy project creates opportunities for the individual and family* to do just that - to hold on, while letting go.  We meet together to explore the impact of the illness, to talk about goals and plans, to acknowledge their grief and honour connections.  This project can be completed with families large or small, and include children of all ages.  That Project? While the results have been profound, the activity is, quite simply, creating a “Hug”. 

The physical embrace of a Hug is comforting for anyone in a time of need.  In this instance, it is a creative legacy project that can be completed by anyone, anywhere at any time and is then exchanged as a lasting memento.  The Hug can be taken to any significant place or event: to school, a little-league playoff game, during an admission to hospital or hospice, or even once someone has died, these hugs can be buried or cremated and remain with a loved one forever.

Although tantamount to making a scarf, it is more importantly symbolic of the outstretched arms of a loved one, it becomes a personalized “Hug”.  The components are basic… a flat sheet, markers or fabric paint, scissors and willing participants.  After laying a sheet on the ground, one person lays on top of the sheet while another traces around their outstretched arms and hands.  After sitting up, lines are drawn connecting each arm and then taking scissors, cut along the outline.  Each Hug is then adorned with messages and images of the shared connection and becomes a tangible expression of their love. 

I have completed this activity with anyone wanting to participate, whether ambulatory or bed-bound.  For those who are bed-bound, after carefully sliding a sheet behind their shoulders, the family tenderly helps to hold and trace their outstretched arms and hands.  Throughout this activity, the individual and family share stories and a profound connection, with each gentle movement and precious memory cultivating an incredibly intimate experience.

Language, distance or time do not serve as barriers.  I have completed this activity when families speak a language different from my own.  Despite communicating through an Interpreter, the conversation remains seamless throughout as the family creates a beautiful and moving tribute while supporting each other in their shared love and grief.  This supportive intervention has also bridged great distances, even though families were thousands of miles apart, they completed and sent their personalized hugs via courier to be at the bedside of their dying loved one.  I have also completed this project with children following the death of a parent (many of whom had not been informed about the disease or prognosis in advance).  Although a parent - or any loved one might die before the family has an opportunity to have these conversations, it is so important to facilitate therapeutic activities to collectively express their grief while honouring the connection with their loved one.  

While this “Hug” is essentially an expressive arts project, it creates and holds significant therapeutic value for all involved.  It is a collaborative experience for the family to honour connections while preserving a legacy.  Though each experience is unique, what remains universal are the shared laughs, tears and a multitude of stories - whether with a partner, children, grandchildren, siblings, parents, cousins, friends (or all of the above), they create reminders of shared experiences, connections and precious memories. 

I believe as Health Care Professionals, we can provide invaluable opportunities for families to connect, and collectively process experiences from time of diagnosis through to end-of-life and into bereavement.  I feel extraordinarily privileged that families allow me into their lives - however brief, I hold that time as sacred and do all I can to foster these connections while honouring the legacy of those living and dying.

(family* is defined by the individual - be it partner, children, parents, siblings, neighbour, friend, etc.)

#Palliative Care is not about #dying, but about quality of #living @JMyersPallCare #hpm

There are a multitude of misconceptions surrounding Palliative Care - what it is and what it isn't. Sadly, many are not open to the prospect of Palliative Care because it presented as a departure from "active care" or moreover they believe that Palliative Care is only provided at end of life. It is in fact so much more than that... I truly appreciate this article demystifying the scope and breadth of Palliative Care written by Dr. Jeff Myers, a Palliative Physician, empathic clinician, extraordinary advocate and educator...

"At a time when assisted dying dominates discussion about end-of-life care, I think it’s important to address public fears around palliative care so that people can use the information to improve their quality of life.

Palliative care is not what happens when all treatments have failed. It does not mean “giving up” or “stopping the fight.” If you are fighting cancer or Lou Gehrig’s disease, palliative care means a team of people — such as doctors, nurses, social workers and others — will help make sure you have what you need to continue fighting.

As a palliative care physician, I am deeply committed to improving end-of-life experiences for people and their families. My focus is not on the disease itself but on the impact it can have, like relieving the severity of symptoms with the overall goal of improving quality of life.

It’s my job to know what matters to you and to make sure you’re not spending time and energy on bothersome symptoms that needlessly wear you down. Pain is a good example: terrible pain from cancer can be exhausting, consume a ton of energy and is worse for the body than any medications aiming to manage the pain. There is no need for a person fighting cancer to also try fighting pain.

There is now very clear evidence that people who receive specialized palliative care actually live longer than those who do not. This is why it’s so important to understand that palliative care is not about giving up — far from it. It’s about living the very best you can for as long as you do."

Surviving #Cancer Without the Positive Thinking. Losing Yourself, Seeing the Beauty and the Love @embeedub

"My husband and I were always transparent with the kids. They saw me cry; they saw me get scared. We used words like died rather than passed away. Now I see the kids as these amazing, compassionate, clear-eyed people who know how to comfort others and who have made space in their life for death. That is so unusual in our culture. I want my kids to have a relationship with the fluidity of life—with the fact that sometimes people get sick and sometimes bad things happen, and to know that within that there is also grace, there’s also beauty, there’s also comfort. Because if you go down into the depths, there is treasure there. Cancer still sucks, but there’s also profound connection. It’s the privilege of allowing yourself to participate in the full experience of humanity, which includes grief and sickness and death. If you don’t look at [those things], you’re not living...

There’s this assumption that because you got better, you did it courageously. But that’s not my story. I didn’t “warrior” my way into getting better. It was not my achievement; it was science’s. Whenever I hear someone say “I beat cancer,” it just feels so disrespectful to others, such as my friend Debbie. It divides us into winners and losers. I know it’s not deliberate. We want to make meaning. We want to make sense of it. But you see how random [survival] is. I have known people who were healthier than me and younger than me who tried, I think, harder than I did to fight their cancer but who didn’t live…

The story is about losing something—yourself, people you loved, what you thought you knew about the world—yet still being whole. Butterflies are all about transformation. I try to see the beauty in all the damage. I try to see the beauty in all the ruin. And I definitely see the love."

I can’t save my daughter from a terminal illness. But we can help save other children from the same fate.

"There is no way to escape losing a sense of who you once were. And after a year (or two), you wake up from this transformation and realize that you were not actually dying; you just felt like you were. And then you must make a choice. One option: You can give into the horror of it all and retire to bed. No one would blame you; it is a tempting alternative that lurks at the back of my brain from time to time even now. The other option is that you take the pain and harness it to do things you could not imagine ever possessing the strength to accomplish. Being around children like my daughter will teach you the very meaning of life."

Talking About #Death Won’t Kill You. @Kathykm @TEDTalks #Death #Education #hpm

"An unconventional death educator with an equal parts wry and wise delivery style, Dr. Kathy Kortes-Miller is committed to showing her audience that talking about death and dying won’t kill you. Using stories and research, Kathy extends an invitation to view death as not a taboo subject - but rather a shared life experience. Audience members walk away with shifted perspectives and a deep understanding that talking about death, without knowing or needing all the “answers”, actually brings us closer to our loved ones than we ever imagined possible."

The Sky Isn’t Falling @Speed4Sarah in @brainchildmag on her #diagnosis of #ALS.

“I was spinning, untethered from the person I felt I had once been. A marathon runner, a devoted mom and wife, an independent woman who had never particularly liked asking for help. I was consumed by my sadness and confusion, by my anxieties about what was to come.

And then I discovered other people who were like me. Young moms and dads, people in their 20s who never had a chance to start a family, all of them living with ALS. I found them by writing about my experience, by joining a group on Facebook, and by becoming heavily involved with several nonprofit organizations that raise money for ALS research. My people, it turned out, were not the ones in the senior home who had lived long lives and had much to show for it. My people were the ones who were fighting for their lives, fighting for more time with their children, fighting a disease that we’d been told would certainly kill us–and soon”.