Healing

Demystifying Grief and Honouring Loss: Exploring Healing While Caring for Others and Ourselves

I am incredibly honoured to deliver Virtual Palliative Care Grand Rounds, “Demystifying Grief and Honouring Loss: Exploring Healing While Caring for Others and Ourselves” at University Hospitals, Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine.

In healthcare we move through an array of experiences, navigating acute emergencies, illness, death and a myriad of non-death losses, for ourselves, for all we love, and all we serve.

What about experiences that cannot be cured or fixed? As Dr. Kenneth Doka states, “Grief is a reaction to loss. We often confuse it as a reaction to death. It’s really just a very natural reaction to loss. When we lose any significant form of attachment, it’s the process of adjusting”.

There is no closure or “getting over” loss, nor are there finite timelines in grief.

We continue to grieve someone (or something) after loss and the cumulative effects and secondary losses that follow. Grieving the loss means learning to move forward, integrate, and metabolize the loss(es), while honouring the connection in meaningful and supportive ways.

In the face of trauma, loss and uncertainty, it can feel overwhelming to consider moving forward. Tedeschi & Calhoun highlight the importance (and benefit) of Post-Traumatic Growth, specifically:

  • Traumatic events are not viewed as desirable

  • Stories of others moving through trauma are always important in post-traumatic growth

  • Strength is often correlated almost paradoxically, following an increased sense of being vulnerable

In Kitchen Table Wisdom, Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen writes, “The expectation that we can be immersed in suffering and loss daily and not be touched by it is as unrealistic as expecting to be able to walk through water without getting wet.”

There is healing power in connecting with the voices and stories of others. I am grateful to share a space to honour healing in healthcare, in the face of grief, loss, connection and community.

Thrilled to host "How We Talk About Grief" at gritLIT!

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Am truly honoured to host “How We Talk About Grief” on behalf of The 100% Certainty Project. Death: Something to Talk About for gritLIT 2021. I am thrilled to meet both Dakshana Bascaramurty and Christa Couture and explore their experiences with loss and grief as we discuss their exquisite memoirs.

An all-too-familiar certainty, grief is an emotion that’s difficult for most of us to put into words. In This Is Not the End of Me, Dakshana Bascaramurty documents the final years of a husband and father diagnosed with terminal cancer at age 33. In How to Lose Everything, Christa Couture shares her own excruciating loss, including the amputation of her leg as a cure for bone cancer and the death of two children.

Join me on April 18th at 2pm as I ask these brilliant authors to discuss the challenges of talking and writing about grief and how the process of doing so helps with healing.

#gritLIT2021

Trusting that even the longest, hardest endings lead to brand new mornings.

Sharing the beautiful words and artwork from Morgan Harper Nichols.

"You will grow how you were meant to. One morning you will wake up and realize that even though so many things aren’t the same anymore, there is still more in store. Because knowing 'there is more in store' doesn’t mean believing that everything will be easy, it means trusting that even the longest, hardest endings lead to brand new mornings.

In this life you will have moments that leave you speechless. You will look to the one you love and wonder, how on earth did you get to live this life. You will also have nights that leave you restless where you are left to ask, what will it look like to survive. And you will also have a billion moments in between. You will weave in and out of beginnings and endings and somehow, through it all, you will end up growing in the way you were meant to. You will be tender and you will be strong and you will be glad you lived to see beautiful things flourish, even though they took so long. You will heal along the journey. You will find: you were always learning. Strength was rising up within you. You bloomed how you were meant to. MHN"

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