I am honoured to deliver the national webinar, “Exploring Grief and Moving Forward After a Pancreatic Cancer Diagnosis” for Wellspring as they partner with Pancreatic Cancer Canada in support of Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month.
Pancreatic Cancer is often found in later stages because it has relatively few symptoms and is statistically one of the worst cancers for treatment and survival. Anticipatory grief is one of the many unique challenges encountered following a Pancreatic Cancer diagnosis as 70% of people diagnosed with pancreatic cancer do not survive past the first year, which means a Pancreatic Cancer diagnosis can be traumatic for patients and families.
In this webinar we will define Anticipatory Grief and explore some universal sources of grief, while demystifying and acknowledging different types of loss, and consider how we uniquely metabolize grief. Lastly, we will highlight some resources for support and explore considerations for self-care.
It is National Grief and Bereavement Day in Canada
The third Tuesday in November marks National Grief and Bereavement Day in Canada. Especially on this day, the Canadian Hospice Palliative Care Association (CHPCA) encourages Canadians to engage all sectors of society in dialogues to raise #awareness, identify and #support access to a range of necessary resources for anyone facing loss, grief and bereavement.
Reach Out, Support the Grief Journey. When someone we know is faced with grief, we can often find ourselves at a loss for words. We may be unsure of how to support friends, family, or colleagues going through a difficult journey. But here’s the truth: You have the power to make sure they are not facing grief alone. Our actions can provide solace and connection when needed most.
National Grief and Bereavement Day calls upon all of us to reach out and move alongside those around us on a grief journey. It’s a day to take action, to be present for someone who needs support, even when words fail. For those who may feel uncomfortable with grief, who never quite know what to say, or are uncertain about what to do to help, there are things you can do, big or small, that can make a world of difference for someone in your life who is grieving.
Reaching out with simple gestures of kindness can make a profound #impact. Small but thoughtful actions can bridge the gap between isolation and healing. Even when it feels as though there’s nothing you can say, your actions speak volumes to people in your life navigating grief and loss.
Together, let’s break the silence surrounding grief. Let’s move alongside those around us on a journey with grief. Join us on National Grief and Bereavement Day as we collectively learn to reach out, offering genuine support and compassion to those around us.
Source: CHPCA
Children's Grief Awareness Day (CGAD).
CGAD seeks to raise awareness of the painful impact that the death of a loved one has in the life of a child or teen, and provides an opportunity to make sure that these children and #teens receive the support they need. In just one year, over 203,000 of Canada’s 7.5 million youth under 18 will experience the death of someone in their extended family.
1 out of every 14 children and teens will experience the death of a #parent, #caregiver or #sibling who lives in their home. These youth experience the ripple effect of multiple losses…
The death of a parent, caregiver or sibling has been found to be one of the most stressful life events that a child or youth can experience. Therefore it is important to provide children with information about grief, normalize their responses and encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings.
Children are often the hidden mourners in our society with little attention being paid to their bereavement needs. Every child has different needs, perspectives and understandings of what death means. Therefore it is important to provide children with information and education on death and grief as well as normalize their responses and encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings.
It is challenging to parent a grieving child when parents are themselves grieving. Grief is often isolating and consuming. Having access to resources and supports can help families feel connected and equipped to face their grief together.
Visit The Canadian Alliance for Children's Grief (CACG) for more information or resources. CACG is the first Canadian national group of professionals working together to ensure the accessibility of bereavement support and information to grieving children, teens and their families. Resulting from a collaborative effort amongst agencies and service providers across the country, the CACG seeks to address the barriers experienced by organizations providing services to grieving children and youth and strengthen the support offered to local communities. Source: CACG
Día de Los Muertos: A Time to Grieve & Remember
Day of the Dead is a rare holiday for celebrating death and life. It is unlike any holiday where mourning is exchanged for celebration. Day of the Dead is a holiday to remember loved ones by sharing a meal with them as one would when they were alive.
Calaveras (Skulls) are ubiquitous during Day of the Dead. The skulls are often drawn with a smile as to laugh at death itself. They take many forms such as sugar candies, clay decorations, and most memorable: face painting. Sugar skulls are decorated and placed on ofrendas (altars) of loved ones. Marigolds are believed to be the pathways that guide the spirits to their ofrendas and they symbolize the beauty and fragility of life.
Dia de los Angelitos (Day of the little angels) starts the holiday at midnight on Nov 1st, where the spirits of all deceased children are believed to be reunited with their families for 24 hours. Families construct an altar, known as an ofrenda, with the departed child’s favorite snacks, candies, toys, and photographs to encourage a visit from their departed children. The names of the departed children will often be written on a sugar skull.
At midnight of the following day (November 2nd), the celebrations shift to honor the lives of the departed adults. The night is filled with laughter and fun memories, much like the night before. However, the Ofrendas take on a more adult-like theme with tequila, pan de muerto, mezcal, pulque and jars of Atole. Families will also play games together, reminisce about their loved ones, and dance while the village band plays in their town
The next day is the grand finale and public celebration of Dia de Muertos. In more recent times, people come together in their cities, dressed up with Calavera painted faces (Skeletons) and have parades in the streets. Cemetery visits are also common on the last day as families will go to decorate the grave sites with Marigold flowers, gifts, and sugar skulls with the departed’s name on them. It’s customary to clean the grave stone and restore the color.
Source: https://dayofthedead.holiday/
Demystifying Grief and Honouring Loss: Exploring Healing While Caring for Others and Ourselves
I am incredibly honoured to deliver Virtual Palliative Care Grand Rounds, “Demystifying Grief and Honouring Loss: Exploring Healing While Caring for Others and Ourselves” at University Hospitals, Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine.
In healthcare we move through an array of experiences, navigating acute emergencies, illness, death and a myriad of non-death losses, for ourselves, for all we love, and all we serve.
What about experiences that cannot be cured or fixed? As Dr. Kenneth Doka states, “Grief is a reaction to loss. We often confuse it as a reaction to death. It’s really just a very natural reaction to loss. When we lose any significant form of attachment, it’s the process of adjusting”.
There is no closure or “getting over” loss, nor are there finite timelines in grief.
We continue to grieve someone (or something) after loss and the cumulative effects and secondary losses that follow. Grieving the loss means learning to move forward, integrate, and metabolize the loss(es), while honouring the connection in meaningful and supportive ways.
In the face of trauma, loss and uncertainty, it can feel overwhelming to consider moving forward. Tedeschi & Calhoun highlight the importance (and benefit) of Post-Traumatic Growth, specifically:
Traumatic events are not viewed as desirable
Stories of others moving through trauma are always important in post-traumatic growth
Strength is often correlated almost paradoxically, following an increased sense of being vulnerable
In Kitchen Table Wisdom, Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen writes, “The expectation that we can be immersed in suffering and loss daily and not be touched by it is as unrealistic as expecting to be able to walk through water without getting wet.”
There is healing power in connecting with the voices and stories of others. I am grateful to share a space to honour healing in healthcare, in the face of grief, loss, connection and community.
Rights of a Student Who is Grieving
Returning to school can be a time of tremendous grief bursts - both expected and unexpected: from completing emergency contact forms after a parent/caregiver has died (is dying) or absent in any capacity; seeing families together when a parent or sibling is in hospital, hospice or is no longer present; witnessing the range of emotions when people talk about summer experiences filled with joy and connection when grief, loss, an accident, illness and absence has been their experience instead… While not readily visible, grief will continue to influence the life of a student impacted by loss (as they live with navigating the ongoing impact of grief & grieving).
Compassion, creativity, patience and empathy are essential in responding in a non-judgmental way to the individual and unique needs of each student.
You can access the FREE Rights of a Student Who is Grieving via NACG
About Childhood Grief FREE Resource
About Childhood Grief
“The death of a family member, friend or other significant person is a lifelong loss for children. It is normal for children to miss the person who died and to experience grief that might come and go with different levels of intensity for some time after the death. It can be challenging to parents and caregivers to know what to do for, what to say to and how to help children who are obviously hurting. Here are a few suggestions about how to be helpful to a grieving child based on research and practice among children’s grief support professionals and volunteers. It is important to note that grief reactions in children are varied, wide ranging and unique to each individual.”
The following suggestions will help guide you as you seek to be provide understanding and compassion to children living with grief:
Grief is a normal reaction for children to the death of someone significant
Children need to know the truth. Most parents and caregivers would agree that they would prefer that their children not have to deal with the difficult truths that might accompany a death
Each child’s grief is as unique to him or her as was their relationship with the deceased
Grieving children often feel alone and misunderstood
Children will experience grief over the death of significant people at different times throughout their lives
Grieving children often experience personal growth as a result of their loss
Grieving children feel less alone when they are with other children who have experienced the death of a significant person and when they have loving, consistent adults in their lives
Knowledge is Power
Source “About Childhood Grief” via NACG
FREE Individual Student Bereavement Plan
Returning to school can be a time of tremendous grief bursts - both expected and unexpected: from completing emergency contact forms after a parent/caregiver has died (is dying) or absent in any capacity; seeing families together when a parent or sibling is in hospital, hospice or is no longer present; witnessing the range of emotions when people talk about summer experiences filled with joy and connection when grief, loss, an accident, illness and absence has been their experience instead… While not readily visible, grief will continue to influence the life of a student impacted by loss (as they live with navigating the ongoing impact of grief & grieving).
You can access the FREE Individual Student Bereavement Plan via NACG
“This document is a resource for supporting students returning to school after they have experienced the death of a significant person in their lives. When a student returns to school, they may feel alone and challenged by the task of engaging with their daily routine. Schools are in a unique position to provide support for students with thoughtful plans specific to the individual’s needs. Students grieve developmentally, and their needs are unique and changing throughout the days, months, and years ahead. Those students that need and receive grief support have improved outcomes socially, emotionally, and academically.” Source “Individual Student Bereavement Plan”
Source: NACG
Teaching about the importance of empathy
To learn more about how Dr. Barbara Tatham used her own illness to teach others about the importance of empathy, please read "White Coat to Blue Gown".
"She laid herself bare for everyone to see just how hard it can be to be a patient, and in doing so, made all of us want to do better.... Barb’s honesty about her poor prognosis was painful to hear but she had clearly confronted her own humanity and mortality in a way that few of us ever will.” Source: e-Dialogue College of Physicians and Surgeons of Ontario
FREE Death Café at McMaster University: August 9th (6-8pm)
I am honoured to facilitate a FREE Death Café on Wednesday August 9th (6-8pm) at the David Braley Health Sciences Centre, McMaster University on behalf of The 100% Certainty Project. Death: Something to Talk About.
Registration is required for this FREE Death Café via Eventbrite at: https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/death-cafe-tickets-668976405437
Please note: Death Café is an international movement where people, often strangers, gather to eat, drink tea and discuss death. The objective is 'to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives’.
At Death Café, you can expect a group directed discussion of death with no agenda, objectives or themes. It is a discussion group. Please note that Death Café is NOT a grief support group, nor is this a grief counselling session.
Death Café is a respectful, public event where people of all communities and belief systems are welcome to have discussions about death. Interesting conversation is guaranteed! For more information, please visit Death Café https://deathcafe.com/
Medical Education: Honouring life, love, loss and legacy at McMaster University
Incredibly honoured to facilitate the Annual Dr. Barbara Tatham Memorial Lecture & thank her sisters Erica, Deanna & Laura for joining us to demystify grief, honour loss & explore healing while caring for others and ourselves. Honouring Dr. Tatham's life, legacy and brilliant contributions to Medical Education at McMaster University.
Honouring person and family-centred care is ESSENTIAL from time of diagnosis, throughout treatment, into remission, at end-of-life, and into bereavement.
A cancer diagnosis is traumatizing. Finding community, support and connection is essential in the face of trauma. Stories of others moving through trauma are always important in post-traumatic growth (Tedeschi & Calhoun). Strength is often correlated, almost paradoxically, following an increased sense of being vulnerable - of being human.
Today, please take a moment to connect with your breath, honour your strengths and make space for who and what matters most in your life. ❤️
Today is the Annual #TerryFoxRun. To support Dr. Tatham's life, legacy and indomitable spirit in the face of cancer, please donate to #TeamBarb https://run.terryfox.ca/team/teambarb
Loss in the Time of COVID: Exploring the Impact of Grief
Honoured to deliver Loss in the Time of COVID: Exploring the Impact of Grief as the Keynote address at Trillium Health Partners in support of National Hospice Palliative Care Week in Canada.
My sincere gratitude to everyone who joined our discussion via Zoom, for sharing time, reflections and energy - and for acknowledging the impact of trauma, loss and grief for healthcare providers as we continue to serve so many facing trauma, loss and grief during the pandemic.
Best Oral Paper Award at #HPCO2022!
Incredibly honoured as the Clinical Lead to receive the Best Oral Paper Award at #HPCO2022 Hospice Palliative Care Ontario Annual Provincial Conference with our incredible interprofessional team: Ann Vander Berg, Allyson Oliphant, and champion for our project - Dr. Andrea Folic for "Care Beyond Walls: Innovation, Implementation and Evaluation of a Medical Assistance in Dying-Specific Bereavement Support Group for Caregivers"
Exploring the Role of Social Work in Palliative Care
So grateful to speak with my friends and colleagues Drs. Hsien Seow and Sammy Winemaker on their podcast The Waiting Room Revolution.
We explored the role of Social Work in Palliative Care, the value of proactive and compassionate person and family-centred support following diagnosis of any serious illness, exploring loss and grief through to end-of-life and bereavement, creating space for essential conversations, and the healing power of silence.
Follow their podcast for essential tips and tools to navigate the healthcare system following diagnosis of a serious illness. To listen to our conversation, click here
The ARQ of Grief Support
The ARQ of Grief Support:
Awareness
Reflection
Questions
The ARQ of Grief Support via NACG, The Dougy Center & KinderCare is a framework you can use to create meaningful, supportive interactions with children, teens and adults facing grief, loss & grieving
Source: https://childrengrieve.org/12-resource/309-resources-2
C. Elizabeth Dougherty Consulting - Winter 2022 Newsletter
I am honoured to share my winter 2022 newsletter with free resources for individuals and families of all ages facing a complex illness, following diagnosis through to bereavement.
I am also grateful to also share teaching experiences including: undergraduate and graduate Social Work Education; undergraduate interdisciplinary education; and Interprofessional Education for healthcare providers and volunteers exploring informed conversations, honouring person and family-centred care, demystifying grief, and advocating for high-quality palliative care.
Join the movement to #UnderstandGrief
Join the #UnderstandGrief movement! Here's how:
1. Advocate that grief is not a mental disorder; our social and cultural context impacts how we grieve. Question the narrative of “mental disorders” and consider all the factors that can contribute to how a person responds to the death of someone in their lives.
2. Consider the language you use and how it can impact people. People who are grieving often receive patronizing responses to “move on” or “find closure” when what they need most is to feel understood.
3. Educate others about being grief-informed. Share the 10 core principles of being grief-informed.
4. Broaden the dialogue about the need for diversity and inclusivity in grief research and support. We need to reach beyond limited and narrow perspectives to understand and support how grief is experienced by people of different beliefs, cultures, ethnicities, backgrounds, abilities, and experiences.
5. Challenge myths about grief. Grief doesn’t follow an orderly path. When someone is grieving, don’t impose expectations on them about how they should feel or respond, or how long their grief should last. Every experience of loss is different.
6. Acknowledge and address the injustices of labels. Rather than labeling people who are grieving with a mental disorder, consider framing the challenges we face when we’re grieving as just that: challenges we experience when coping with the death of someone in our lives.
7. Recognize and acknowledge that every experience of loss is a unique experience. People will likely respond to the death of each person in their life differently because every relationship is unique.
8. Strengthen relational connections. We need connections with others who are understanding and compassionate, especially when difficult and painful things happen.
9. Honour lived experience. To honour the lived experience of others involves offering the gift of nonjudgmental listening, open mindedness, and support.
10. Be compassionate with yourself and with others. One of the ways we can “walk our talk” is to demonstrate the same compassion toward ourselves that we hope others will have for themselves, particularly when we’re grieving.
Via The Dougy Center
What to say (and NOT to say) when someone is grieving
Most don't know what to say when someone is grieving. Here are some suggestions to offer a grieving parent, caregiver, or colleague. These questions can also be adapted for children.
via National Alliance for Grieving Children, The Dougy Center and KinderCare Education
Thrilled to host "How We Talk About Grief" at gritLIT!
Am truly honoured to host “How We Talk About Grief” on behalf of The 100% Certainty Project. Death: Something to Talk About for gritLIT 2021. I am thrilled to meet both Dakshana Bascaramurty and Christa Couture and explore their experiences with loss and grief as we discuss their exquisite memoirs.
An all-too-familiar certainty, grief is an emotion that’s difficult for most of us to put into words. In This Is Not the End of Me, Dakshana Bascaramurty documents the final years of a husband and father diagnosed with terminal cancer at age 33. In How to Lose Everything, Christa Couture shares her own excruciating loss, including the amputation of her leg as a cure for bone cancer and the death of two children.
Join me on April 18th at 2pm as I ask these brilliant authors to discuss the challenges of talking and writing about grief and how the process of doing so helps with healing.
#gritLIT2021
Today is Children's Grief Awareness Day (#GGAD)
CGAD is designed to help us all become more aware of the needs of grieving children teens and families — and of the benefits they obtain through the support of others. Children's Grief Awareness Day is an opportunity to make sure that grieving children receive the support they need.
Before they graduate from high school, one child out of every 20 children will have a parent die - and that number doesn't include those who experience the death of a brother or sister, a close grandparent, an aunt or uncle, or friend.
Grieving children often feel set apart, different from their peers, alone and not understood. Every school and every community has children who have experienced some type of loss. Even if they keep their loss and experience to themselves, there are many children who are grieving among us.
These children can be helped to not feel so alone. Children and adults together can show their support for grieving children and show their awareness of what grieving children might be going through by participating in Children's Grief Awareness Day.
Source: CGAD. For more information or resources, visit: https://www.childrensgriefawarenessday.org/cgad2/about/index.shtml
DID YOU KNOW???? On CGAD, the CN Tower / La Tour CN will be illuminated in blue to raise awareness of this important issue
