"Now, in the midst of a longevity revolution with a passion to create new rituals and connections that help a community to, yes, thrive, we are recognizing that dying is also a profound and shared human experience. Its time to talk about it."
Why Talking About Death Is the Key to the Longevity Revolution by Ellen Goodman
"When heading into the unknown unprepared, we humans are rarely at our most confident. And when it comes to death, we have plenty of reason to feel anxious. It’s times like these that we need to hear from those who’ve gone before us. And that’s what our latest WYD In Focus provides: candid accounts from family members and caregivers who’ve been present at the deaths of loved ones—because understanding what happens at the bedside might surprise you."
Source: When You Die
"The realities of death are not easy to confront. That much is clear in the trailer Netflix just released for “Extremis,” an original documentary short exploring the harrowing decisions families must make for their loved ones in urgent end-of-life cases relying on machine-based life support.
'We’re all gonna die…and it’s good to have a little bit of a say in how,' says Dr. Jessica Nutik Zitter, the palliative care physician featured in “Extremis,” as we see images of families, doctors and patients in the midst of facing death daily.
The trailer depicts the access granted to Oscar- and Emmy-winning filmmaker Dan Krauss (“The Kill Team”) into the ICU unit of an Oakland, California public hospital. Krauss attempts to intimately examine “the intersection of science, faith and humanity” by observing personal, real-time accounts of how complicated and emotionally wrought the dying process becomes when there are opportunities for choice in death.
The 24-minute film premiered at Tribeca Film Festival in April and the San Francisco International Film Festival on Saturday. “Extremis” is set to release globally on Netflix on September 13."
Source: IndieWire. September 6, 2016
Throughout life, we celebrate milestones - weddings, births, anniversaries - but the milestone that we are most often afraid to confront is one of the most impactful - death.
For many people, talking about end-of-life is uncomfortable or even taboo. But sooner or later, we all face death. What fears are holding us back from having essential conversations that will improve our own lives and the lives of those we care about?
We understand that death is informed by the lived experience and want to create opportunities for the lived experience to be better informed. We have just launched a new series creating public forums to empower people to have conversations about living and dying. We want to foster opportunities for the general public, healthcare professionals, first responders, health science students, residents of long term care, financial planners, faith communities and community organizations to talk about living and dying. We strive to normalize conversations about living and dying in a non-judgemental, non-denominational, upbeat and interactive session. We aim to provide attendees the opportunity to consider their values and receive credible resources regarding advance care planning and end-of-life care.
For more details about our free event or to register please follow this link to EventBrite
“Spoiler alert: we are all going to die
One thing I have noticed as an “empowered patient” is that most people don’t talk about death and dying. We might think about it, but we don’t plan in advance or communicate what we would want if we ever were put in a position where we could not speak for ourselves. I understand. It is an uncomfortable topic.
According to a 2012 report by the California Health Care Foundation, 82% of Californian’s think it is important to put your end of life wishes in writing, yet only 23% have done so. Why is this important?
For one thing, doctors are trained to save people, and without a medical order or an advance directive, a medical team will, by default, try to save your life by all methods possible…
As a relatively healthy 36-year-old, saving my life by all methods possible actually sounds like a good idea! But if I was dying, say from an advanced brain cancer, there is no amount of CPR in the world that is going to cure me of cancer…
The beginning of the end
…The medical team gave J medication to take away any pain he may experience. They removed his breathing tube, and unhooked all machines except for the one monitoring his heart beat. Quickly, his bed was moved to the sunny room where his friends, including myself, were waiting outside by the window.
As soon as the medical team cleared out we poured in. One person set up the speakers. Another friend was ready with the iPod. The door to the medical area was closed. The rest of us swarmed in around him: hands placed on his hands, his legs, his feet. The room was small, so some hovered around the perimeter and in the doorway to the open air…
We fell silent and the first song began…
A friend said “Orange Sky” held a lot of meaning for J. I had never heard this song, but now I will never forget it. I watched J’s heart rate decrease during the first two-thirds of the song, from the low 30s to zero. The monitor began to ding. A friend pushed a button, silencing the sounds. I held J’s feet.
We listened through the end of the song, with our faces on J’s, tears pouring out of our eyes. I was sobbing. We were devastated.
No one danced.
When the song ended there was silence.
Then the scene from a movie played out: A doctor wearing a white coat walked into the room. He donned a stethoscope and raised the end to J’s chest. His hand moved to various areas of our friend’s chest, and down and around to his stomach. He raised each of J’s eyelids to shine a flashlight into the pupils looking to see if they would constrict. The pupils did not move. The doctor looked at the clock and said, “It is 6:11. Take as long as you need.” He exited the room. End scene.
We all stood looking at J for a long time. Then the music began again… ‘We Could Be Heroes,’ by David Bowie.
The end
The best way to capture your healthcare preferences is by having a conversation with your loved ones, appointing a medical decision maker, and then documenting your preferences in an advance healthcare directive.”
“In the early moments of critical illness, the choices seem relatively simple, the stakes high – you live or you die. But the chronically critically ill inhabit a kind of in-between purgatory state, all uncertainty and lingering. How do we explain this to families just as they breathe a sigh of relief that their loved one hasn’t died? Should we use the words “chronic critical illness”? Would it change any decisions if we were to do so? Here, I find that I am often at a loss.
I was quiet on the other end of the phone line that night. Was my patient stable? For the moment, she was. But with each event like this one, and there would be more, my patient would move further from the hope of ever reclaiming that life she had had in the fall: living in her own home, watching movies, cooking. I felt that I could see the weeks and months spooling out, a moment of calm, a new emergency. But this wasn’t the time to tell her daughter, not on the phone, not tonight.
And so I told her the truth – one truth, at least. Her mother was critically ill, but stable for the night”.
“Thinking about death is frightening, but planning ahead is practical and leaves more room for peace of mind in our final days. In a solemn, thoughtful talk, Judy MacDonald Johnston shares 5 practices for planning for a good end of life.”
“For Andrew Smith, a six-day stay in hospital got him thinking about life and death.
Granted, he was only having a toe removed. But what would happen if he passed away? Did his family know what kind of music he would want played at his funeral, or whom he would want in attendance?
‘I thought, I really need to get this stuff written down. But then I decided there’s a lot of people in the same situation as me, so if I can create a website where people can do it at home, at their own pace, that would be awesome,’ says the 44-year-old from Halifax who now lives in Vancouver.
The result of his thinking was Final Wish, a secure website that stores information that people would want shared at their time of passing. That includes what should be done with social media accounts and who should look after pets. Upon death, that information can be accessed by preappointed confidants.”
"The Institute of Medicine (IOM) believes the time is right for a national dialogue to normalize the emotions on death and dying. They think that the social trends point toward a growing willingness to share stories about the end-of-life care and that it will help drive more family discussions. In the IOM consensus report, Dying in America, experts found that accessibility of medical and social services could improve a patient’s life at the end. But if people don’t discuss which medical care or social services they want or not, how will their wishes be known and carried out?"
“Everything We Say and Do” is an informational series developed by SHM’s Patient Experience Committee to provide readers with thoughtful and actionable communication tactics that have great potential to positively impact patients’ experience of care. Each article will focus on how the contributor applies one or more of the 'key communication' tactics in practice to maintain provider accountability for “Everything we say and do that affects our patients’ thoughts, feelings and well-being.”
"Looking back, many sons and daughters I have worked with regret having encouraged a parent to undergo a hip surgery. Spouses regret pushing for their loved ones to be intubated, and many patients struggle to balance the suffering with the life-prolonging effects of their treatments. Such regrets are the outgrowth of an approach to death that is focused on delaying death rather than being present and accompanying loved ones as they are dying. Accessing death-delaying treatments often comes at the expense of easing discomfort and being intentional about the nonmedical ways we can help our dying loved ones".
