Holiday Limits, Boundaries and Self-Compassion Reminders" via What’s Your Grief (WYG). Visit Archive for the Holiday Season via WYG
How to Survive The Holidays When You're Grieving
How to Survive The Holidays When You're Grieving via Megan Devine
"The holiday seasons adds an extra measure of pain to people already bearing more than they can, more than they should ever have to. There is the empty seat at the table, the heaviness of all the ways the one you love is missing, traditions that have gone flat, smacking against the empty place.
Death, illness, massive life events — they all sour the season in ways those outside your loss can’t understand. Given that this season is going to be rough, how will you survive? Here are some of my holiday survival rules from my own early days. Remember, whatever you choose to do (or not do) this holiday season, staying true to yourself is important.
If you have someone who consistently tries to talk you out of your 'no,' you might respond by calling them out on their coercion: 'I keep telling you no, and you keep trying to convince me that I’m wrong. I need you to respect my decision.' Friends and family get to feel disappointed in your no, but they don’t get to force you to say yes.
Whether you are missing someone who should be part of the festivities, or you are missing someone who shared your love of quiet acknowledgment over raucous partying, this season will likely add to your grief.
Companion yourself. Care for yourself. Listen to yourself. Reach out where it feels good to reach, curl in when that is what you need. Make this season as much of a comfort to yourself as you can.
May your holiday season (or non-holiday, depending) be as safe, and full of love and connection as it can be.”
Visit refugeingrief.com for more Grief Support.
Grief & the Holidays: 6 Things to Remember
In the midst of the focus on joy & cheerful celebrations at this time of year, sharing a reminder of "Grief & the Holidays: 6 Things to Remember" via Claire Bidwell Smith
Día de Los Muertos: A Time to Grieve & Remember
Day of the Dead is a rare holiday for celebrating death and life. It is unlike any holiday where mourning is exchanged for celebration. Day of the Dead is a holiday to remember loved ones by sharing a meal with them as one would when they were alive.
Calaveras (Skulls) are ubiquitous during Day of the Dead. The skulls are often drawn with a smile as to laugh at death itself. They take many forms such as sugar candies, clay decorations, and most memorable: face painting. Sugar skulls are decorated and placed on ofrendas (altars) of loved ones. Marigolds are believed to be the pathways that guide the spirits to their ofrendas and they symbolize the beauty and fragility of life.
Dia de los Angelitos (Day of the little angels) starts the holiday at midnight on Nov 1st, where the spirits of all deceased children are believed to be reunited with their families for 24 hours. Families construct an altar, known as an ofrenda, with the departed child’s favorite snacks, candies, toys, and photographs to encourage a visit from their departed children. The names of the departed children will often be written on a sugar skull.
At midnight of the following day (November 2nd), the celebrations shift to honor the lives of the departed adults. The night is filled with laughter and fun memories, much like the night before. However, the Ofrendas take on a more adult-like theme with tequila, pan de muerto, mezcal, pulque and jars of Atole. Families will also play games together, reminisce about their loved ones, and dance while the village band plays in their town
The next day is the grand finale and public celebration of Dia de Muertos. In more recent times, people come together in their cities, dressed up with Calavera painted faces (Skeletons) and have parades in the streets. Cemetery visits are also common on the last day as families will go to decorate the grave sites with Marigold flowers, gifts, and sugar skulls with the departed’s name on them. It’s customary to clean the grave stone and restore the color.
Source: https://dayofthedead.holiday/
The Year I Ran Away from Christmas: A Mother’s Perspective on Grief and the Holidays.
"I have no need to run away during the holidays anymore. The other day my daughter, now a young woman, reminded me that Christmas is her favourite time of the year. I smiled and said, 'It’s mine too’."
Click the image above to read more about Judy's experience.
Getting through the holidays.
"The pressures around the holidays can be even more challenging after the death of a family member".
Click on the above image for tips that may help, as well as a Holiday Plan Worksheet to provide some guidance.