Click on the Butterfly to access resource materials, information and support for grieving Children and Youth.
Children's Grief Awareness Day.
"Children's Grief Awareness Day seeks to bring attention to the fact that often support can make all the difference in the life of a grieving child. It provides an opportunity for all of us to raise awareness of the painful impact that the death of a loved one has in the life of a child, an opportunity to make sure that these children receive the support they need".
Moody Cow Meditates: A playful way to introduce children to the power of meditation.
"It all started one stupid, rotten day when everything went wrong…
Peter the cow is having a BAD day. After missing the bus and wiping out on his bike he loses his temper and gets in trouble. To make matters worse all the other kids are teasing him, calling him Moody Cow. Peter’s day just seems to get worse until his grandfather comes over and teaches him how to settle his mind and let go of his frustration through a simple and fun exercise. This vibrant and funny children’s book is a playful way to introduce children to the power of meditation. With full color illustrations by the author, Moody Cow Meditates is a wonderful book for parents and children to share together.
Look for the Moody Cow Mind Jar App for iPhone and iPad, available in the App Store and iTunes!"
Finding the Words: How to talk with children and teens about death.
"It's hard to talk to children and teens about death and dying, particularly when someone they love has died or might die soon. Our instinct as caring adults may be to shelter them from painful truths. Yet as Dr. Wolfelt emphasizes, what kids need most is our honesty and our loving presence.
This practical and compassionate handbook includes dozens of suggested phrases to use with preschoolers, school-agers, and teenagers as you explain death in general or the death of a parent, a sibling, a grandparent, or a pet. Other chapters include possible words and ideas to draw on when you are talking to kids about a death by suicide, homicide, or terminal illness. At times grown-ups must also have very difficult conversations with dying children; this book offers guidance. A final chapter discusses how to talk with kids about funerals, burial, and cremation".
Inpatient Hospice Palliative Care Directory free via iOS and Android.
"Although some people hope to remain at home for the duration of their illness, many people find that admission to an inpatient setting can also be helpful. The inpatient care settings in the directory include palliative care units, residential hospices and dedicated palliative care beds within local hospitals. Inpatient hospice palliative care support includes 24 hour care, specialist pain and symptom management and psychosocial support for patients and families.
The map provides access to a directory which includes more information about inpatient hospice palliative care settings across Ontario. The list of facilities below may not be complete - there may be hospice palliative care settings which are not in the directory.
For contact information and details about the facility, click on a specific location. If you want more information, contact the hospice or palliative care program directly".
"My Directives". Now’s the time to get started.
“Emergencies can happen at any time, leaving you too injured or ill to communicate decisions about your medical treatment. MyDirectives helps you create your own emergency medical care plan for your family and doctors so they can make decisions on your behalf".
Bearing Witness to Suffering. ~ Laura van Dernoot Lipsky
In this talk, Laura offers us a window into the cumulative toll that can occur when we are exposed to the suffering, hardship, crisis or trauma of humans, other living beings, or the planet itself. Held within a larger context of systematic oppression and liberation theory, we'll dive into what gets hard and how to work toward reconciling it both individually and collectively.
Life and Death Planning: Low effort, High Reward. "Get Your Shit Together" Webresource
"There are a few simple things I wish I had taken care of before my life went sideways, like a will, living will, and some details jotted down. Should the ground fall out from under your feet—plan now for a softer landing. In fact, it's easy to finish the planning and basic papers your life needs.
In 2009 my husband was killed in an accident. In the following hours, weeks, and months I was shocked by the number of things we had left disorganized or ignored. Critical documents you can spend a fraction of the time doing now. Here are those core items, streamlined.
GYST™ now and breathe a huge sigh of relief. You can do it".
The Way Forward: An Integrated Palliative Approach to Care.
"Imagine a time when hospice palliative care is available to Canadians when and where they need it; where living well until death is the goal of care".
Palliative Care Sooner for Patients But Also for Medical Professionals.
"Changing culture is a process. Awareness and understanding of palliative care is often limited, yet the benefits are discernible from better quality of life to care more consistent with patient preferences, to more recent data indicating improved survival. My experience with palliative medicine as a first-year medical student has made me realize how vital palliative care education could be for all medical students".
Complicated Grief: A Grief So Deep It Won’t Die.
" 'Adapting to loss is as much a part of us as grief itself,' said Dr. Shear, who directs the Center for Complicated Grief at the Columbia University School of Social Work. With complicated grief, 'something gets in the way of that adaptation, Something impedes the course of healing.’
By diagnosing complicated grief just six months after a death, he said, 'you’ll get a lot of normal people receiving treatment they don’t need,' including drugs. Dr. Shear also worries about “pathologizing” normal emotions. But when a woman remains unable to leave her home or answer the phone four years after the death of her adult son, as was true of one patient, something has clearly gone wrong.
‘If you’re worried about what you’re experiencing, if you’re not getting more engaged in life and people around you are saying, ‘Honey, stop wallowing in it,’ why not get some help?' Dr. Shear said. Complicated grief therapy, developed by her center, showed greater effectiveness among older adults than interpersonal psychotherapy in a clinical trial".
The Paternalism Preference — Choosing Unshared Decision Making.
"Consent is not merely the granting of permission but an exercise in choosing, and choice requires disclosure of a certain amount of information. How much information is adequate? Rather tautologically, as much as necessary to decide: 'The scope of the physician's communications to the patient must be measured by the patient's need, and that need is whatever information is material to the decision'.”
Words of Comfort for Someone Suffering the Loss of a Loved One.
"One of those mornings in particular, I awoke with a hauntingly beautiful piece written by Adam Lee in my mind. At the end of Lee’s essay are two exquisite paragraphs that had been used at a memorial service I attended. I have never forgotten those ever-so-comforting last two paragraphs in Lee’s essay, and when I awoke remembering them, had the distinct feeling that at that very moment there was someone who had lost someone they loved, and who was suffering, and who needed to hear those most incredible, peace-giving words".
The Art of Healing.
"As the parents of Lulu and Leo, we know that art and nature played a critical role in their short, beautiful lives and in the life of our surviving daughter, Nessie. We believe every child on the planet deserves the deep engagement with art, nature, and creativity that our children had, not simply for the sheer joy and excitement it brings children but for the powerful tool it can be. We have felt the critical importance of creativity as a healing force and want to ensure that these creative outlets are available to all children and communities facing adversity.
We created the Lulu & Leo Fund to inspire, engage, educate, heal and grow the hearts and minds of children facing hardships, giving them lifelong passion, skills and — most importantly — hope".
Grief Through a Child's Eyes.
Click on the above image to watch "Grief through a Child's Eyes" an original video that takes you inside a children's bereavement camp.
Finishing Strong: Moments of Life Made Possible by Hospice.
"In September 2012, Bryan Caldwell was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. A former professional football player in the NFL, rancher and surfer, he embodies strength. His wife, Krista, a nurse with Houston Hospice El Campo, even tells the story of how the morning before he was diagnosed, Bryan mowed the yard with a collapsed lung.
Six months into his fight with lymphoma, Bryan learned his cancer was unresponsive to medical treatments. He knew he wanted to spend his remaining time living without pain, at home, surrounded by all he loved. So he chose hospice care.
'Our whole philosophy is not to stay sitting, it’s to stay moving and to keep living each moment that comes along,' says Bryan. 'Hospice provides that golden opportunity for me, every single day. If I have the energy and I feel up to it, I’m getting out there'.”
Trauma Workers Find Solace In A Pause That Honors Life After A Death.
"Jonathan Bartels is a nurse working in emergency care. He says witnessing death over and over again takes a toll on trauma workers — they can become numb or burned out. So the next time we worked on another person who didn't make it, I decided to be bold and stop people from leaving," he says. "I just said, 'Can we stop just for a moment, to recognize this person in the bed? You know, this person before they came in here was alive — they were interacting with family, they were loved by others, they had a life.' "
The team did it. Standing together silently, they stopped — just for a minute.
"When it was done, I said, 'Thank you all, and thank you for the efforts that we did to try and save them.' People walked out of the room, and they thanked me," Bartels says.
What's come to be called The Pause is now being taught as part of the curriculum at the university's nursing school. Emergency medical technician Jack Berner says it helps him handle the toughest cases. ‘It makes it so we can actually view the person as a person, rather than as a patient that we see on an everyday basis,’ he says. ‘You can relate more to the case, [knowing] it's somebody's father or their mother, their sister or their uncle, rather than somebody you just see for five minutes’."
Dying 6-year-old leaves thank-you note for parents.
"Amber Shoemake and her husband Tim came home from the hospital to pick out burial clothes for their 6-year-old son.
That’s when the grieving parents found a handwritten note from Leland on the living room table – and immediately burst into tears.
“We were shocked. We broke down and cried for a long time. We have no idea when he wrote it,” Shoemake told the Star in messages sent on Facebook.
“Still with you. Thank you mom + dad. Love,” read Leland’s note, written in red marker and shared by the family on Facebook. He also coloured in a red heart with the words “Mom dad Love” written inside. The note’s last line appears to read “Good bye,” but Shoemake said she believed her son wrote “Good day.”
'I cried hysterically. He was so awesome in life and this family revolved around him and here he was still caring for us even after he’s gone,' said Shoemake"
What You Say To Someone Who’s Grieving Vs. What They Hear.
"When people say you need to move on, you can sometimes think, That’s easy for you to say. This isn’t your loss. Putting a timeline on grief is nearly impossible and unnecessary".
Miracles Don’t Come Cheap.
"As I rushed through the hospital lobby on my way to the intensive care unit, I saw the palliative care team speaking to a young woman in a wheelchair. She was beautiful, her cheeks full and round, her mouth in a constant soft smile as she spoke. She sat regally in her chair, the red of her sweatshirt anchoring my eyes in the dim hospital lobby. She was such a vision of beauty and health that it took me a second to realize that her right leg was amputated below the knee.
As the treating doctor for this critically ill patient, I had been sure she would die. And I was wrong. Her very presence in the lobby felt like a reprimand".