Holding Exquisite Presence When Supporting Children and Their Families Who are Grieving

I was incredibly honoured to join my compassionate friend and dear colleague, Rami Shami, in a creative space, talking about the need for grief to come out of the shadows.

“How we support children and youth in their grief can have a lasting impact on their mental, emotional, even physical health. Joining us on this podcast is an individual who draws on her knowledge and experiences as an educator, a clinician in private practice, and a mother, in sharing how to hold what she calls, 'exquisite presence,' when supporting children and youth who are grieving. Her approach, garnered through decades of in the field work within numerous settings, highlights practical and informative insights into the disenfranchisement of grief amongst children, and how promoting safe spaces can help children process their experiences of loss. Join us for an exceptional informative and educational podcast!”

Source: The Lighthouse Beacon Podcast

EXPLORING GRIEF AND LOSS LITERACY: SUPPORTING AND EMPOWERING SCHOOL COMMUNITIES

Am thrilled to be offering a full-day of training on Feb. 1st for the Halton District School Board on “EXPLORING GRIEF AND LOSS LITERACY: SUPPORTING AND EMPOWERING SCHOOL COMMUNITIES”

Will be honoured to be present with so many professionals as we spend the day exploring: 

- Grief and Loss Literacy (related to dying, death and non-death losses)

- Stigma Related to Illness, Dying, Grief

- The Dialogue of Loss

- Support Across School Communities

- Promoting Capacity & Engagement

- Opportunities for Self-Care

Looking forward to sharing some brilliant resources!

The Gift of a Hug for a Grieving Child or Teen

Receiving a #Hug from a loved one is an incredible connection. Giving hand-knitted Hugs to #grieving #kids and #teens facing the dying or death of a loved one is a wonderful gift.

These #knitted Memory Scarves were made by #volunteers with Canadian Virtual Hospice in support of KidsGrief.ca providing a loving Hug and free resources to grieving kids, teens and families facing dying, grief and loss.

For more information, please visit: http://kidsgrief.ca/

Camp Erin Hamilton (June 8th-10th). An extraordinary free bereavement camp for kids and teens

So excited for Camp Erin Hamilton (June 8th-10th) with Dr. Bob Kemp Hospice and The Moyer Foundation!

Am truly honoured to be the Clinical Director for Camp Erin Hamilton, a FREE weekend bereavement camp for children and teens (ages 6- 17) grieving the death of someone close to them (a parent, caregiver or sibling). Campers participate in FUN, traditional camp activities combined with grief education and emotional support, led by bereavement professionals and trained volunteers.

To learn more, to donate, to volunteer or refer a grieving child or teen, please visit: https://kemphospice.org/camp-erin

10 Things My Chronic Illness Taught My Children

"All three of us work to maintain balance — knowing when we need to flex and when we need to release, when to put pain first and when to let it fade into the moment."

Source: 10 Things My Chronic Illness Taught My Children

How To Support A Young Person Through Grief

“This early interaction with death is overwhelming, but a pivotal point for learning. This grief acts as a blueprint for not just how these young people process death, but their approach to the many challenges they will face in life.

If you are struggling to help a teenager with their grief, know that your concern is evidence of your care. There is nothing that can make this not awful, so don't make your aim to stop the tears, but rather to support them in what they need. Respecting their needs shows them that you believe in their ability to know what's best for themselves. You're doing good.”

Wonderful #Books that #Help #Children #Grieve and Make Sense of #Death @brainpickings #hpm

“From Japanese pop-up magic to Scandinavian storytelling to Maurice Sendak, a gentle primer on the messiness of mourning and the many faces and phases of grief.”

Cry, Heart, But Never Break: A Remarkable Illustrated Meditation on #Loss and #Life. @brainpickings

"Now comes a fine addition to the most intelligent and imaginative children’s books about making sense of death — the crowning jewel of them all, even, and not only because it bears what might be the most beautiful children’s book title ever conceived: Cry, Heart, But Never Break (public library) by beloved Danish children’s book author Glenn Ringtved and illustrator Charlotte Pardi, translated into English by Robert Moulthrop.

Although Ringtved is celebrated for his humorous and mischievous stories, this contemplative tale sprang from the depths of his own experience — when his mother was dying and he struggled to explain what was happening to his young children, she offered some words of comfort: “Cry, Heart, but never break.” It was the grandmother’s way of assuring the children that the profound sadness of loss is to be allowed rather than resisted, then folded into the wholeness of life, which continues to unfold". 

Child and Youth Grief Awareness: Resources.

Click on the Butterfly to access resource materials, information and support for grieving Children and Youth.

Children's Grief Awareness Day.

"Children's Grief Awareness Day seeks to bring attention to the fact that often support can make all the difference in the life of a grieving child. It provides an opportunity for all of us to raise awareness of the painful impact that the death of a loved one has in the life of a child, an opportunity to make sure that these children receive the support they need".

Moody Cow Meditates: A playful way to introduce children to the power of meditation.

"It all started one stupid, rotten day when everything went wrong…

Peter the cow is having a BAD day. After missing the bus and wiping out on his bike he loses his temper and gets in trouble. To make matters worse all the other kids are teasing him, calling him Moody Cow. Peter’s day just seems to get worse until his grandfather comes over and teaches him how to settle his mind and let go of his frustration through a simple and fun exercise. This vibrant and funny children’s book is a playful way to introduce children to the power of meditation. With full color illustrations by the author, Moody Cow Meditates is a wonderful book for parents and children to share together.

Look for the Moody Cow Mind Jar App for iPhone and iPad, available in the App Store and iTunes!" 

Finding the Words: How to talk with children and teens about death.

"It's hard to talk to children and teens about death and dying, particularly when someone they love has died or might die soon. Our instinct as caring adults may be to shelter them from painful truths. Yet as Dr. Wolfelt emphasizes, what kids need most is our honesty and our loving presence.

This practical and compassionate handbook includes dozens of suggested phrases to use with preschoolers, school-agers, and teenagers as you explain death in general or the death of a parent, a sibling, a grandparent, or a pet. Other chapters include possible words and ideas to draw on when you are talking to kids about a death by suicide, homicide, or terminal illness. At times grown-ups must also have very difficult conversations with dying children; this book offers guidance. A final chapter discusses how to talk with kids about funerals, burial, and cremation".

Stop, Breathe, Think. Get Meditating in 5 Minutes. Easy!

"A friendly, simple tool to guide people of all ages and backgrounds through meditations for mindfulness and compassion".

The Art of Healing.

"As the parents of Lulu and Leo, we know that art and nature played a critical role in their short, beautiful lives and in the life of our surviving daughter, Nessie. We believe every child on the planet deserves the deep engagement with art, nature, and creativity that our children had, not simply for the sheer joy and excitement it brings children but for the powerful tool it can be. We have felt the critical importance of creativity as a healing force and want to ensure that these creative outlets are available to all children and communities facing adversity.

We created the Lulu & Leo Fund to inspire, engage, educate, heal and grow the hearts and minds of children facing hardships, giving them lifelong passion, skills and — most importantly — hope".

Grief Through a Child's Eyes.

Click on the above image to watch "Grief through a Child's Eyes" an original video that takes you inside a children's bereavement camp.

Dying 6-year-old leaves thank-you note for parents.

"Amber Shoemake and her husband Tim came home from the hospital to pick out burial clothes for their 6-year-old son.

That’s when the grieving parents found a handwritten note from Leland on the living room table – and immediately burst into tears.

“We were shocked. We broke down and cried for a long time. We have no idea when he wrote it,” Shoemake told the Star in messages sent on Facebook.

“Still with you. Thank you mom + dad. Love,” read Leland’s note, written in red marker and shared by the family on Facebook. He also coloured in a red heart with the words “Mom dad Love” written inside. The note’s last line appears to read “Good bye,” but Shoemake said she believed her son wrote “Good day.”

'I cried hysterically. He was so awesome in life and this family revolved around him and here he was still caring for us even after he’s gone,' said Shoemake"

Talking to young children about death Death. It’s a tough topic for grown-ups, let alone kids. How should we talk about it with them?

"Death. It’s a tough topic for grown-ups, let alone kids. When you become a parent, you expound upon every aspect of parenting with your family and friends until you’re blue in the face. How many long and drawn-out conversations have I had about breastfeeding, crying it out, and kindergarten curriculums?

But death? Hardly at all.

“I think our society in general does not want to talk about death and doesn’t want to deal with the messiness of grief,” said Emily Long, a licensed counselor and author of Sensitive Conversations: Talking with Kids About Death, Grief, and Violence . “So it is something that does get avoided a lot with kids — and in general.”

But kids, the most curious of creatures, won’t let you avoid it for long."

Read on about What to say - and not to say....