"Six years inside complicated grief taught me many things. Five of them I can put into words and onto paper. I have a feeling I will be learning from her the rest of my life..."
#Childhood #Bereavement #Care Pyramid
"In the absence of a national approach to childhood bereavement care in Ireland, the pyramid is a guide for professionals and concerned adults in identifying and responding to the needs of children and young people who have experienced a loss.
An expert group working in the area of childhood bereavement was convened to review the adult and child bereavement literature and pertinent policies (international and local), in order to establish existing models of bereavement care and core dimensions of best practice. From this review and building on practice experience, a framework was created and piloted with medical, social work and educational professionals and parents".
On #Parenting: There is no 'normal' when it comes to #kids and #grief. And that’s okay
"We stopped talking. I rocked back and forth on her bed, holding her close, reverting to the keening motion every human leans into when things get that bad. It was the same way I held my husband in August and again in September, and the same way he reached for me in November, the wordless soothing rhythm of a parent and child.
Our guests would be okay downstairs. We sat together in the dark. And I let her cry, and cry, and cry. Broken open, edges jagged, ready to grieve".
#Death and the #Workplace. @GroundSwellAus
"We know that most of us don’t grieve in stages. In fact, we experience resilience. To use George Bonnano’s research, for most of us grief is an up and down experience with capacity for both intense positive and negative emotion. This is normal and expected. And perhaps most importantly, we know that being part of a network of colleagues (as well as friends and family) who take part in the caring process, has a transformative effect. Not just for those of us who are experiencing great loss, but also for the people who work with and care for us."
They Brought Cookies: For A New Widow, Empathy Eases Death's Pain
"So I'll tell you the positive effect and you know it already: empathy is pain's best antidote. It is, says Robert Burton in his astonishing Anatomy of Melancholy, 'as fire in Winter, shade in Summer, as sleep on the grass to them that are weary, meat and drink to him that is hungry or athirst.'
The pain doesn't go away; but somehow or other, empathy gives the pain meaning, and pain-with-meaning is bearable. I don't actually know how to say what the effect of empathy is, I can only say what it's like. Like magic".
Looking Forward. ~ PhotoGrief. #Grief #Bereavement
Photos by Jimmy Edmonds
“These are montages that I make using my son Josh’s image against a background – these are from Mexico while we were filming of the Day of the Dead last year. The original image is of Josh (he died in 2011 aged 22) pretending to be asleep, but it has become one of the main pictures that I remembering him by. What is important for me is that it represents a continuing relationship that I have with him as I re-craft his picture as part of my on going work as a photographer and filmmaker. Photographs we have of our dead love ones are always in the past from when they were still alive – and in that sense they are stuck in history. What we teach on our photography course is that by reworking them and creating new photos we can re-invent the deceased as part of our present lives – its a very cathartic process and does a lot for my own healing – instead of always looking ‘back’ at photos as a way remembering him I am now looking ‘forward’ to the next image I will make with him in it.”
A Loud Voice: Dear Dead Mother. Conversations about #life, #love, and #loss with the mother I've never known. #Grief #Bereavement
"Silence is not always self-imposed. Sometimes those of us who want to grieve out loud feel immense pressure to stay quiet and move on. This pressure can be communicated to us in so many ways – when people look away, when words are whispered across quiet rooms, when we are explicitly told not to dwell on negative things. When the people we love most and want to protect seem to fall apart when we talk about the dead".
Against #Grieving in Silence. ~Rachel Stephenson
"When loss enters our lives, understanding how to confront it can be difficult. Rachel Stephenson learned a valuable lesson after a difficult loss and shares her wisdom on what it means to grieve meaningfully.
Rachel is an educator, administrator, and writer. For the past 7 years, she has worked for The City University of New York (CUNY) designing and implementing innovative, high-performing programs focused on civic engagement, workforce development, and youth development for a range of inspiring CUNY students. Launching the CUNY Service Corps in 2013 is one of her proudest professional accomplishments. Rachel holds a Master of Fine Arts degree in Nonfiction Writing from Columbia University’s School of the Arts.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community".
"Before You Know It Something's Over". The #Death of a #Parent.
"I want to talk to you about how it feels to spend your whole life grieving, to have your ghosts precede your actuality, to feel that nobody you know will ever truly know you because they never knew him. To recycle fourteen years of material like a song that never gets old, because you’re just so frustrated that there’ll never be a new album, even though everybody else is probably sick of the song and likes your new songs so much better. I want to talk to you about how I got free".
The Geography Of #Sorrow. Francis Weller On #Navigating Our #Losses
"In his book Weller invites us to view grief as a visitor to be welcomed, not shunned. He reminds us that, in addition to feeling pain over the loss of loved ones, we harbor sorrows stemming from the state of the world, the cultural maladies we inherit, and the misunderstood parts of ourselves. He says grief comes in many forms, and when it is not expressed, it tends to harden the once-vibrant parts of us".
"My Marriage Didn’t End When I Became a Widow". ~ Dr. Lucy Kalanithi
"One night recently, alone in bed, I read “A Grief Observed” by C.S. Lewis, and I came across the observation that “bereavement is not the truncation of married love but one of its regular phases.” He writes that “what we want is to live our marriage well and faithfully through that phase, too.” Yes, I breathed. Bereavement is more than learning to separate from a spouse. Though I can no longer comfort Paul, the other vows I made on our wedding day — to love Paul, to honor and keep him — stretch well beyond death. The commitment and loyalty, my desire to do right by him, especially as I raise our daughter, will never end".
Lucy Kalanithi is an internist at Stanford University’s Clinical Excellence Research Center. She wrote the epilogue to her late husband Paul Kalanithi’s forthcoming book, “When Breath Becomes Air.”
Explaining Cremation to Kids.
"Of course, this is a tough concept for kids this age to comprehend but it's much worse to shield them from this ritual".
Supporting Grieving Preschoolers. The Dougy Centre.
"Explaining death to a young child can feel overwhelming and intimidating. These tips may help you navigate how to talk with and support grieving preschoolers after a death".
"You don't get over bereavement, you get on with it": Mumsnet.
"Have the boys 'got over the worst of it'? Who knows? We take every day as it comes. We are on a journey that takes us on a bumpy and unpredictable ride, with little in the way of helpful signage. Just because we have faced a huge trauma, does not mean that we are exempt from facing further difficulties en route".
Good Grief: Healthy Ways To Help A Child Mourn Their Sibling. ~Crossroads Hospice
"Few things are as powerful as the bond between brothers and sisters. The connection can often seem unbreakable, until tested by tragedy. Without a doubt, when a child loses a sibling, it can prove a very difficult journey. But with love and support, a child can weather this journey in time.
A guiding presence ensures they process and mourn in a healthy way. While each child’s needs are unique, all parents and guardians can keep these tips in mind when discussing the loss of their sibling".
Click on the photo to access resources on this topic.
Never Bottle Things Up. ~Lily's Story
"Lily Nash's mum, Claire, died only four months ago from breast cancer. Since then, Lily, aged 10, has been meeting with Esther Gwynne once a week for bereavement counselling”.
Click on Lily's photo to read more as she shares her story...
Grief and Mourning WebResource.
“An important question to consider is this: If we can’t deal with our fears of death, living in the background of our lives, how can we live fully in life? This quote explains it well.
‘Normally we do not like to think about death. We would rather think about life. Why reflect on death? When you start preparing for death you soon realize that you must look into your life now… and come to face the truth of your self. Death is like a mirror in which the true meaning of life is reflected’ ~Sogyal Rinpoche
Through tools, resources, information and perspectives, GriefandMourning.com assists open-hearted and open-minded people in living a richer, satisfying and more fulfilling life.
GriefandMourning.com caters to all humans, regardless of background. Its views are non-denominational in nature, and are considered to be perspectives only. All perspectives welcome, as long as they empower and contribute in a positive way”.
Courageous Parents Network. An Invaluable Peer Community. Webresource.
"The mission and goals of Courageous Parents Network originate in my experience parenting my daughter Cameron following her diagnosis of Tay-Sachs at the age of six-months. Tay-Sachs is a rare and incurable genetic illness that always ends in early childhood death... But, in its way, it made everything that followed possible.
We did more than survive. Despite the profound sadness of watching our beautiful daughter lose all cognitive and physical abilities, Charlie and I were able to live fully into her short life. Despite the fear we had of losing her, we were prepared to accept, face and allow her pending death. And despite the Whoosh that poured from our life and our home when we watched her die, we were able to heal and, in time, emerge from the dark fog of grief that surrounded our family.
Courageous Parents Network is about bringing these phenomena to other families who are caring for children with serious illness. It is about providing parents with the skills, tools and virtual support they need to cope and adapt during their child’s illness journey so as to make the impossible possible".