children

About Childhood Grief FREE Resource

About Childhood Grief

“The death of a family member, friend or other significant person is a lifelong loss for children. It is normal for children to miss the person who died and to experience grief that might come and go with different levels of intensity for some time after the death. It can be challenging to parents and caregivers to know what to do for, what to say to and how to help children who are obviously hurting. Here are a few suggestions about how to be helpful to a grieving child based on research and practice among children’s grief support professionals and volunteers. It is important to note that grief reactions in children are varied, wide ranging and unique to each individual.” 

The following suggestions will help guide you as you seek to be provide understanding and compassion to children living with grief:

  • Grief is a normal reaction for children to the death of someone significant

  • Children need to know the truth. Most parents and caregivers would agree that they would prefer that their children not have to deal with the difficult truths that might accompany a death

  • Each child’s grief is as unique to him or her as was their relationship with the deceased

  • Grieving children often feel alone and misunderstood

  • Children will experience grief over the death of significant people at different times throughout their lives

  • Grieving children often experience personal growth as a result of their loss

  • Grieving children feel less alone when they are with other children who have experienced the death of a significant person and when they have loving, consistent adults in their lives

  • Knowledge is Power

Source “About Childhood Grief” via NACG

10 for 10: Ten Activities for when emotions run high

10 for 10: Ten Activities for when emotions run high via NACG The Dougy Center & KinderCare

Parents and Caregivers, you can encourage use of this worksheet in a few different ways:

  • Children and teens can use it to choose any activity when their emotions are running high (a supportive reaction).

  • You can ask them to refer to it regularly and choose self-care activities at any time (a proactive response).

  • Children or teens can mark off the activities they do throughout the day/week (promoting a sense of accomplishment).

  • They can create and choose their own activity to help self-regulate (encouraging self-compassion & creativity).

  • They can also design their own self-care worksheet (exploring empowerment).


Source: https://childrengrieve.org/12-resource/309-resources-2

The ARQ of Grief Support

The ARQ of Grief Support:

  1. Awareness

  2. Reflection

  3. Questions

The ARQ of Grief Support via NACG, The Dougy Center & KinderCare is a framework you can use to create meaningful, supportive interactions with children, teens and adults facing grief, loss & grieving


Source: https://childrengrieve.org/12-resource/309-resources-2

Supporting children and youth who have a family member with an advanced serious illness

Supporting children and youth who have a family member with an advanced serious illness via NACG The Dougy Center & KinderCare

At some point, we all encounter a child or teen who is living with the anxiety of a family member’s life-limiting illness. You can have the opportunity to be a support person, providing empathy as they face the serious illness, grief, loss and perhaps death, of a family member.

Some considerations include: Listen, Acknowledge, Understand, Provide Consistency, Help, Safety, Provide Resources

Source: https://childrengrieve.org/12-resource/309-resources-2

Caring for the Caregiver: Recognizing the Impact of Vicarious Trauma on Helpers and Strategies for Self-Care

Am truly honoured to be offering the Plenary Session “Caring for the Caregiver: Recognizing the Impact of Vicarious Trauma on Helpers and Strategies for Self-Care“ for the Annual Children’s Grief Awareness Symposium at Lighthouse Centre for Grieving Children, Youth and Families.

For information or to register, please visit: https://www.grievingchildrenlighthouse.org/index.php/news-and-events/upcoming-events/104-events/upcoming-events/events-2019/482-grief-symposium-2019#live-session-descriptions

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About the Lighthouse Centre for Grieving Children, Youth and Families:

“The Lighthouse provides a place where children, teens, and their parents and guardians who have experienced a life changing death loss can come together to be part of a community. Through participation in facilitated peer groups, they find understanding, stability and support.

Any child or teen, ages 3-19, who has experienced the death of an immediate family member or very close friend can join a group. Parents and guardians are welcome to attend the adult peer support groups which are offered at the same time as the children/teen groups.

Often, family members feel the need to protect one other from their feelings. At The Lighthouse, children and youth have their own space where they can feel safe to share their feelings with peers who have also experienced a life changing death. This expression of feelings, thoughts and experiences helps them reach an understanding of their loss and builds hope and encouragement for their future.”

Source: Lighthouse

To donate to the Lighthouse Centre for Grieving Children, Youth and Families, please visit: https://www.grievingchildrenlighthouse.org/index.php/support-us

Honoured to be a Clinical Lead at Camp Erin Toronto - a FREE bereavement camp for kids and teens

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Am honoured to be a Clinical Lead for Camp Erin Toronto, an incredible FREE weekend bereavement camp for children and youth aged 6-17.   

Camp Erin Toronto is provided FREE to families and is open to any child who has experienced the death of an immediate family member or custodial caregiver, regardless of cause or length of time since the death.  Activities focus on providing campers with the tools needed to help them in their grief and with difficult experiences throughout their lives, while enhancing overall wellness, play and vitality. 

Camp Erin gives children and youth the opportunity to meet with other grieving kids in a fun and natural environment; understanding that they are not the only ones to experience the death of someone close to them decreases the sense of isolation that many grieving children experience.  Source: https://drjaychildrensgriefcentre.ca/programs/camp-erin/

As a registered charity that DOES NOT RECEIVE GOVERNMENT FUNDING, Camp Erin Toronto depends on the generosity of donors. For information, to refer or to donate, please visit: https://drjaychildrensgriefcentre.ca/programs/camp-erin/

For information on other Camp Erin locations in Canada and the U.S. visit: https://elunanetwork.org/camps-programs/camp-erin/

A free Handbook for Supporters. Extending Compassion & Care to Grieving Youth

Am truly honoured to be a partner agency with the Children and Youth Grief Network.

Absolutely thrilled to announce our new resource is now available for FREE to any supporter caring for grieving children and youth. As grief and loss does not discriminate and affects children and teens everywhere, this resource is appropriate for anyone working with, or caring for, children and teens.

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This invaluable resource outlines creative activities, tools and resources while providing essential information about how to support children and teens throughout the grieving process.

If you would like to receive a pdf. of "A Handbook for Supporters. Extending Compassion & Care to Grieving Youth", please contact the Children and Youth Grief Network via info@childrenandyouthgriefnetwork.com

Do you know a grieving child or youth (aged 6-17) who could benefit from support?

Do you know a grieving child or youth (aged 6-17) who could benefit from support?

Am proud to be the new Clinical Director for Camp Erin Hamilton and want to share information regarding this extraordinary free camp. 

Camp Erin is a FREE weekend bereavement camp (held annually in June) for children and teens ages 6-17 who are grieving the death of someone close to them (parent, caregiver, sibling). Campers participate in fun, traditional camp activities combined with grief education and emotional support, led by expert bereavement professionals and trained volunteers.

The following short videos capture Camp Erin Hamilton and highlights some of the kids and teens sharing the brilliant range of experiences that both normalize their thoughts and feelings and further empower them to cope with grief and loss.

If you know a grieving child or teen (6-17 yo) who would benefit from this experience, camper applications are now being accepted. Camper applications are due March 26th.

For more information, please watch the following video, or visit Dr. Bob Kemp Hospice or https://kemphospice.org/camp-erinfor details and application forms. 

Ontario Children's Grief Awareness Family Days. Free public events

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Am honoured to be a new partner agency with the Children and Youth Grief Network (CYGN). The CYGN is a collaborative of agencies and organizations that work to support grieving families of all ages.

The CYGN recognizes that "the support received by a grieving child or youth can significantly influence his/her wellbeing. As a result we aim to connect individuals and organizations who provide services and resources that benefit children and youth who are grieving a death."

As the CYGN Mission is "to advocate for educational opportunities and support services that will benefit children and youth who are grieving the dying or the death of someone they care about", in support of National Bereavement Day, the CYGN is offering 2 free community events to support grieving families.

These events are intended for parents/caregivers and their children/teens (under 18 yrs of age) who have experienced the death of a parent/caregiver, child/sibling.

This event is offered for the whole family. Children will participate in facilitated creative activities with trained grief experts, while parents/caregivers will attend a panel presentation and discussions to explore coping strategies and grief support featuring grief professionals and other bereaved families. 

Come explore grief and bereavement coping strategies specifically for families with children and teens. Connect with peers and learn more about the resources available in your community while enjoying the support of caring professionals and other families who share the grief experience.

Snacks, local grief and bereavement resources and gift bag included. 

Reserve your FREE Ontario Children's Grief Awareness Family Day seats via Eventbrite.

2 Dates and 2 Locations!

November 4th @ Wellspring Birmingham Gilgan House (Oakville) https://www.eventbrite.com/e/ontario-childrens-grief-awareness-family-day-oakville-location-tickets-38670386166

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Joe Primo on Supporting Grieving Children

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"There is a cultural narrative that tells us that bad things don’t happen to good people. As a result, we spend a lot of time protecting kids from natural life events, like death."

Source: Joe Primo on Supporting Grieving Children. Option B

 

Grief In The Classroom: 'Saying Nothing Says A Lot'

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" 'Virtually all children will go through it — but that doesn't mean it's a normalizing experience,' says Dr. David Schonfeld, an expert on student grief and a driving force behind the new website. 'Even though it's common, it warrants our attention.' "

Source: Grief In The Classroom: 'Saying Nothing Says A Lot'

I can’t save my daughter from a terminal illness. But we can help save other children from the same fate.

"There is no way to escape losing a sense of who you once were. And after a year (or two), you wake up from this transformation and realize that you were not actually dying; you just felt like you were. And then you must make a choice. One option: You can give into the horror of it all and retire to bed. No one would blame you; it is a tempting alternative that lurks at the back of my brain from time to time even now. The other option is that you take the pain and harness it to do things you could not imagine ever possessing the strength to accomplish. Being around children like my daughter will teach you the very meaning of life."

Camp Erin Hamilton. Fun #Camp for #Children and #Youth with #Grief #Support and #Education @moyerfoundation

“Camp Erin Hamilton is an annual three-day camp experience offered at no charge and facilitated by professional staff and trained volunteers of the Dr. Bob Kemp Hospice and Bereaved Families of Ontario - Hamilton/ Burlington. The camp is for children ages 6 to 17 who have experienced the death of someone close to them. Camp Erin Hamilton combines a traditional, high-energy, fun camp with grief support and education.”

The importance of #honest #communication: Talking with #children about #death. #hpm

"Drawing from over 30 years of stories and wisdom from grieving children, teens, and adults, the Dear Dougy Podcast is opening up the conversation about dying, death, and bereavement. As humans, we all experience loss during our lives, but often find ourselves lost and unsure when it comes to navigating the grief that follows. Whether you’re grieving a death, or wanting to support someone who is, the Dear Dougy Podcast can help explore your questions about grief".

Against #Grieving in Silence. ~Rachel Stephenson

"When loss enters our lives, understanding how to confront it can be difficult. Rachel Stephenson learned a valuable lesson after a difficult loss and shares her wisdom on what it means to grieve meaningfully.

Rachel is an educator, administrator, and writer. For the past 7 years, she has worked for The City University of New York (CUNY) designing and implementing innovative, high-performing programs focused on civic engagement, workforce development, and youth development for a range of inspiring CUNY students. Launching the CUNY Service Corps in 2013 is one of her proudest professional accomplishments. Rachel holds a Master of Fine Arts degree in Nonfiction Writing from Columbia University’s School of the Arts.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community".

When a child is dying, the hardest talk is worth having. #PedPC

"Conversations about the end of life are hard for most people. But they can be especially sensitive for parents guiding children through terminal illnesses. They often struggle to discuss death because they don’t want to abandon hope; children, too, can be reluctant to broach the subject.

But pediatric specialists say the failure to discuss death — with children who are old enough to understand the concept and who wish to have the conversation — can make it harder for all involved.

A conversation could help children who are brooding silently suffer less as they approach death. It would also ensure parents know more about children’s final wishes".

Helping #Children #Cope with #ALS

"When a family member has been diagnosed with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) children have many questions and concerns about the person they know and love. We offer these guidelines as a tool to assist your family when talking or sharing information and personal feelings about ALS. You may also want to share this information with other important adults involved in your children’s lives such as teachers and coaches". 

How one couple’s loss led to a push for psychological care for kids with cancer.

"The standards say families should be educated early on about palliative care and its role in helping to “reduce suffering throughout the disease process.” And they say children with cancer should receive “developmentally appropriate” information to prepare them for the treatments and procedures they will undergo".

Supporting Grieving Preschoolers. The Dougy Centre.

"Explaining death to a young child can feel overwhelming and intimidating. These tips may help you navigate how to talk with and support grieving preschoolers after a death". 

The Heart and the Bottle: A Tender Illustrated Fable of What Happens When We Deny Our Difficult Emotions.

"Jeffers tells the story of a little girl, “much like any other,” whose expansive and exuberant curiosity her father fuels by reading to her all sorts of fascinating books about the sea and the stars and the wonders of our world. 

We witness the duo’s blissful explorations until, one day, we realize that the father is gone — the little girl finds herself facing the empty chair.

With exquisite subtlety and economy of words, Jeffers — whose mastery of the interplay between darkness and light extends as much to the paintbrush as it does to the psyche — silently uncorks the outpour of hollowing emotions engendered by loss".