"We know that most of us don’t grieve in stages. In fact, we experience resilience. To use George Bonnano’s research, for most of us grief is an up and down experience with capacity for both intense positive and negative emotion. This is normal and expected. And perhaps most importantly, we know that being part of a network of colleagues (as well as friends and family) who take part in the caring process, has a transformative effect. Not just for those of us who are experiencing great loss, but also for the people who work with and care for us."
Cry, Heart, But Never Break: A Remarkable Illustrated Meditation on #Loss and #Life. @brainpickings
"Now comes a fine addition to the most intelligent and imaginative children’s books about making sense of death — the crowning jewel of them all, even, and not only because it bears what might be the most beautiful children’s book title ever conceived: Cry, Heart, But Never Break (public library) by beloved Danish children’s book author Glenn Ringtved and illustrator Charlotte Pardi, translated into English by Robert Moulthrop.
Although Ringtved is celebrated for his humorous and mischievous stories, this contemplative tale sprang from the depths of his own experience — when his mother was dying and he struggled to explain what was happening to his young children, she offered some words of comfort: “Cry, Heart, but never break.” It was the grandmother’s way of assuring the children that the profound sadness of loss is to be allowed rather than resisted, then folded into the wholeness of life, which continues to unfold".
The importance of #honest #communication: Talking with #children about #death. #hpm
"Drawing from over 30 years of stories and wisdom from grieving children, teens, and adults, the Dear Dougy Podcast is opening up the conversation about dying, death, and bereavement. As humans, we all experience loss during our lives, but often find ourselves lost and unsure when it comes to navigating the grief that follows. Whether you’re grieving a death, or wanting to support someone who is, the Dear Dougy Podcast can help explore your questions about grief".
Embracing Life While In Palliative Care
"When you come to the end of your life, how do you mark it's last moments?
This short documentary,Embracing Life, aims to take away the stigma attached to death and dying.
Talking to patients in palliative care, the creators of the film enable conversations about how people feel about approaching the end of their life.
'The aim of the project has been to help build the capacity of communities to talk about death and dying, loss and grief, so that those living with a terminal disease can be better supported,' Sam Kelly from Calvary Health Care Bethlehem told The Huffington Post Australia.
The patients interviewed in this film give an incredibly positive perspective on what it's like to face death.
'Once I accepted that death was to come, I've just held everyday and I try to live it to the fullest,' said Tony Steele.
They Brought Cookies: For A New Widow, Empathy Eases Death's Pain
"So I'll tell you the positive effect and you know it already: empathy is pain's best antidote. It is, says Robert Burton in his astonishing Anatomy of Melancholy, 'as fire in Winter, shade in Summer, as sleep on the grass to them that are weary, meat and drink to him that is hungry or athirst.'
The pain doesn't go away; but somehow or other, empathy gives the pain meaning, and pain-with-meaning is bearable. I don't actually know how to say what the effect of empathy is, I can only say what it's like. Like magic".
Looking Forward. ~ PhotoGrief. #Grief #Bereavement
Photos by Jimmy Edmonds
“These are montages that I make using my son Josh’s image against a background – these are from Mexico while we were filming of the Day of the Dead last year. The original image is of Josh (he died in 2011 aged 22) pretending to be asleep, but it has become one of the main pictures that I remembering him by. What is important for me is that it represents a continuing relationship that I have with him as I re-craft his picture as part of my on going work as a photographer and filmmaker. Photographs we have of our dead love ones are always in the past from when they were still alive – and in that sense they are stuck in history. What we teach on our photography course is that by reworking them and creating new photos we can re-invent the deceased as part of our present lives – its a very cathartic process and does a lot for my own healing – instead of always looking ‘back’ at photos as a way remembering him I am now looking ‘forward’ to the next image I will make with him in it.”
A Loud Voice: Dear Dead Mother. Conversations about #life, #love, and #loss with the mother I've never known. #Grief #Bereavement
"Silence is not always self-imposed. Sometimes those of us who want to grieve out loud feel immense pressure to stay quiet and move on. This pressure can be communicated to us in so many ways – when people look away, when words are whispered across quiet rooms, when we are explicitly told not to dwell on negative things. When the people we love most and want to protect seem to fall apart when we talk about the dead".
Against #Grieving in Silence. ~Rachel Stephenson
"When loss enters our lives, understanding how to confront it can be difficult. Rachel Stephenson learned a valuable lesson after a difficult loss and shares her wisdom on what it means to grieve meaningfully.
Rachel is an educator, administrator, and writer. For the past 7 years, she has worked for The City University of New York (CUNY) designing and implementing innovative, high-performing programs focused on civic engagement, workforce development, and youth development for a range of inspiring CUNY students. Launching the CUNY Service Corps in 2013 is one of her proudest professional accomplishments. Rachel holds a Master of Fine Arts degree in Nonfiction Writing from Columbia University’s School of the Arts.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community".
Let's Go Home. #PhotoGrief
"In my dreams she is still there and nothing has changed except for me. The house is still messy, paint is chipping, doorknobs are missing, and there are dishes the sink. My brother and sister have the TV turned up way too loud in the living room and one room my mother is flawlessly playing the piano, totally undisturbed by the commotion going on around her".
"Before You Know It Something's Over". The #Death of a #Parent.
"I want to talk to you about how it feels to spend your whole life grieving, to have your ghosts precede your actuality, to feel that nobody you know will ever truly know you because they never knew him. To recycle fourteen years of material like a song that never gets old, because you’re just so frustrated that there’ll never be a new album, even though everybody else is probably sick of the song and likes your new songs so much better. I want to talk to you about how I got free".
The Geography Of #Sorrow. Francis Weller On #Navigating Our #Losses
"In his book Weller invites us to view grief as a visitor to be welcomed, not shunned. He reminds us that, in addition to feeling pain over the loss of loved ones, we harbor sorrows stemming from the state of the world, the cultural maladies we inherit, and the misunderstood parts of ourselves. He says grief comes in many forms, and when it is not expressed, it tends to harden the once-vibrant parts of us".
Supporting Grieving Preschoolers. The Dougy Centre.
"Explaining death to a young child can feel overwhelming and intimidating. These tips may help you navigate how to talk with and support grieving preschoolers after a death".
"You don't get over bereavement, you get on with it": Mumsnet.
"Have the boys 'got over the worst of it'? Who knows? We take every day as it comes. We are on a journey that takes us on a bumpy and unpredictable ride, with little in the way of helpful signage. Just because we have faced a huge trauma, does not mean that we are exempt from facing further difficulties en route".
The Year I Ran Away from Christmas: A Mother’s Perspective on Grief and the Holidays.
"I have no need to run away during the holidays anymore. The other day my daughter, now a young woman, reminded me that Christmas is her favourite time of the year. I smiled and said, 'It’s mine too’."
Click the image above to read more about Judy's experience.
Getting through the holidays.
"The pressures around the holidays can be even more challenging after the death of a family member".
Click on the above image for tips that may help, as well as a Holiday Plan Worksheet to provide some guidance.
Good Grief: Healthy Ways To Help A Child Mourn Their Sibling. ~Crossroads Hospice
"Few things are as powerful as the bond between brothers and sisters. The connection can often seem unbreakable, until tested by tragedy. Without a doubt, when a child loses a sibling, it can prove a very difficult journey. But with love and support, a child can weather this journey in time.
A guiding presence ensures they process and mourn in a healthy way. While each child’s needs are unique, all parents and guardians can keep these tips in mind when discussing the loss of their sibling".
Click on the photo to access resources on this topic.
Never Bottle Things Up. ~Lily's Story
"Lily Nash's mum, Claire, died only four months ago from breast cancer. Since then, Lily, aged 10, has been meeting with Esther Gwynne once a week for bereavement counselling”.
Click on Lily's photo to read more as she shares her story...
Grief and Mourning WebResource.
“An important question to consider is this: If we can’t deal with our fears of death, living in the background of our lives, how can we live fully in life? This quote explains it well.
‘Normally we do not like to think about death. We would rather think about life. Why reflect on death? When you start preparing for death you soon realize that you must look into your life now… and come to face the truth of your self. Death is like a mirror in which the true meaning of life is reflected’ ~Sogyal Rinpoche
Through tools, resources, information and perspectives, GriefandMourning.com assists open-hearted and open-minded people in living a richer, satisfying and more fulfilling life.
GriefandMourning.com caters to all humans, regardless of background. Its views are non-denominational in nature, and are considered to be perspectives only. All perspectives welcome, as long as they empower and contribute in a positive way”.
Courageous Parents Network. An Invaluable Peer Community. Webresource.
"The mission and goals of Courageous Parents Network originate in my experience parenting my daughter Cameron following her diagnosis of Tay-Sachs at the age of six-months. Tay-Sachs is a rare and incurable genetic illness that always ends in early childhood death... But, in its way, it made everything that followed possible.
We did more than survive. Despite the profound sadness of watching our beautiful daughter lose all cognitive and physical abilities, Charlie and I were able to live fully into her short life. Despite the fear we had of losing her, we were prepared to accept, face and allow her pending death. And despite the Whoosh that poured from our life and our home when we watched her die, we were able to heal and, in time, emerge from the dark fog of grief that surrounded our family.
Courageous Parents Network is about bringing these phenomena to other families who are caring for children with serious illness. It is about providing parents with the skills, tools and virtual support they need to cope and adapt during their child’s illness journey so as to make the impossible possible".
Child and Youth Grief Awareness: Resources.
Click on the Butterfly to access resource materials, information and support for grieving Children and Youth.