The Quiet Blessing of Grief That Never Ends

“If you’re feeling sorry for me, please, don’t. During the hours I was tossed by this unanticipated wave of sorrow, I knew I could tolerate my sadness. Time has taught me that these waves come — and then go.

Perhaps more surprising, even as I lay curled in a soggy heap, I felt grateful for this wallop of forever-after grief. It provided reassurance that my sister hasn’t faded to a beloved, but distant, memory. Instead, for those hours, Pooz was once again a vivid presence in my mind and heart. There was pain, yes, but there was also the solace of knowing that she is still very much with me.

I count that as a blessing. Amen.”

How To Support A Young Person Through Grief

“This early interaction with death is overwhelming, but a pivotal point for learning. This grief acts as a blueprint for not just how these young people process death, but their approach to the many challenges they will face in life.

If you are struggling to help a teenager with their grief, know that your concern is evidence of your care. There is nothing that can make this not awful, so don't make your aim to stop the tears, but rather to support them in what they need. Respecting their needs shows them that you believe in their ability to know what's best for themselves. You're doing good.”

Camp Erin Hamilton. Fun #Camp for #Children and #Youth with #Grief #Support and #Education @moyerfoundation

“Camp Erin Hamilton is an annual three-day camp experience offered at no charge and facilitated by professional staff and trained volunteers of the Dr. Bob Kemp Hospice and Bereaved Families of Ontario - Hamilton/ Burlington. The camp is for children ages 6 to 17 who have experienced the death of someone close to them. Camp Erin Hamilton combines a traditional, high-energy, fun camp with grief support and education.”

Wonderful #Books that #Help #Children #Grieve and Make Sense of #Death @brainpickings #hpm

“From Japanese pop-up magic to Scandinavian storytelling to Maurice Sendak, a gentle primer on the messiness of mourning and the many faces and phases of grief.”

#Grieving When You’re an #Introvert

"The process of mourning and grieving is hard for everyone, but there are elements of the losing a loved one than can feel especially difficult when you’re an introvert.

As an introvert myself, when I was mourning the death of my parents, so many of the traditional parts of the mourning process felt very invasive to me. For instance, people coming over to my house after the funeral. I had just been taking care of ailing parents and planning a funeral and now I have to have people over? I know that everyone meant well, but having people in my home, some of them I barely knew, felt very unsettling. And then came the inevitable questions, are you going to sell the house, are going to move and what are going to do now?"

Wondering What Caused the #Cancer @nytimes

"I think the question reflects a human desire to revisit events that occurred over a lifetime, and speculate whether a change in course could have avoided an untoward outcome.

In truth, though, except in very rare cases, it is almost impossible to say that a specific environmental exposure triggered a given person’s cancer. The majority of cancers arise randomly, as if thumbing their nose at our collective need to find a cause.

But that doesn’t stop me from trying, during the part of the clinic visit when it’s my turn to ask the questions. And sometimes, I even convince myself that I have uncovered that nugget of truth that explains disease".

MyGrief.ca helps you to understand and work through your #Grief. @VirtualHospice

"MyGrief.ca Because losing someone is hard. MyGrief.ca helps you to understand and work through your grief.

• Confidential
• Access in the privacy of your own home
• Developed by families and grief experts
• Stories from people who have "been there"
• A resource for professionals"

Important Conversations with Experts in the Field about #Dying and #Death. #hpm

Important conversation about supporting quality of life and the need for universal access to Palliative Care - the comprehensive care supporting individuals and families facing a life-limiting illness from time of diagnosis to end-of-life and into bereavement.

The role of #Social #Workers in #Palliative, #end of life and #bereavement care. #hpm

"Social work is essential to palliative, end of life and bereavement care. Some social workers deliver specialist palliative care social work; many others encounter people who are close to or at the end of their life, or are becoming or are bereaved. Social workers have a great deal to offer". 

#Canadian Virtual #Hospice. Information and #Support on #Palliative and #End-of-Life #Care, #Loss and #Grief. @VirtualHospice

"The Canadian Virtual Hospice provides support and personalized information about palliative and end-of-life care to patients, family members, health care providers, researchers and educators."

#Dying is Inevitable. #Living is Not. "#Love is Stonger Than #Death" Rest in Awesome Esther.

"Wayne Earl reveals the power of living and loving life by sharing the wisdom of his daughter, Esther Earl, who lost her battle with cancer just before her 16th birthday. Esther's courage, positive spirit and hope for the future transformed all who knew her. She showed the world what it meant to live life before death (via her well known vlogs and blogs) and that love is the engine of life. Esther Earl shared her spark of possibility with great generosity and was the inspiration for author John Green's #1 New York Times bestseller, The Fault In our Stars.

Wayne Earl recently authored the compelling life story of his daughter, Esther Grace, who succumbed to cancer shortly before her 16th birthday. Before she died, a deepening friendship with her favorite author, John Green, greatly encouraged her. The friendship also inspired Mr. Green, most notably in his writing of the world- renowned novel, The Fault in Our Stars, which he dedicated to Esther. The Earl Family founded the non-profit organization, This Star Won't Go Out, to help ease the financial burdens of families caring for children with cancer."

Things No One Told Me About #Grief

“No one purposefully neglected to tell me these things about grief. Loss, pain, sorrow, heartbreak, they are all simply topics that aren’t discussed in depth and that are experienced in both unique and universal ways. To say: this is how you will experience grief robs it of the unique, yet to say: this is how we mortals experience grief is to give the gift of not being alone. How do we talk about things for which there are no words, in any language that can capture the whole of it? The pain of tragedy burns so deeply and transformatively that we pander around in art, movies, poetry, flowers, songs, essays, trying to grasp the unfathomable. That’s what tears are for, they are the words of the utterly crushed…

No one ever told me that explicitly, either, but I think I’ve known it all along. That love both breaks and heals. Walking through loss with my daughter and sharing our grief is strengthening our relationship. Even though it won’t miraculously heal scars or close up black holes of loss, shared grief is what love looks like.”

The Unexpected #Grief Of The Unknowing

"Through all my self-doubt, and the grief I still experience, I am comforted knowing my mom knew my heart. She understood (more than I could have at the time) how typical, though ill-timed, my behavior was. Nothing changes a mother’s love."

How We #Grieve: the Messiness of #Mourning and Learning to Live with #Loss. @meghanor

“It’s not a question of getting over it or healing. No; it’s a question of learning to live with this transformation. For the loss is transformative, in good ways and bad, a tangle of change that cannot be threaded into the usual narrative spools. It is too central for that. It’s not an emergence from the cocoon, but a tree growing around an obstruction.”

On #Widower Watch. #hpm @otherspoon

"Marking family and personal occasions in this way has become increasingly important to all of us; these events intersect long, quiet weeks with laughter and company. And here’s the often unacknowledged benefit to keeping watch on a widower: With my grandparents dead and my friends all around my age, he diversifies my social life as much as I do his. He gives me a perspective on the city we live in that my peers simply don’t have. We spend our time together talking about our dissimilar lives and the things that matter to us, reminiscing about his many rich years, and looking up old poems in the vast library that lines the walls of his house. He is my friend and I miss him when I am away. As it turns out, nonagenarians are good company".

The "On Coming Alive" Project. #Grief. @lexibehrndt #oncomingalive

"We believe that we are meant to come alive. This doesn’t mean we’ll be without pain. This means that we’ll face the pain, looking it in the eye, feeling it, acknowledging it, never faking it, but embracing life for what it is, a coexistence of the deepest sorrows and the deepest joys. We want to be alive to feel both, because we know that if we hide from the pain, we often also hide from true, deep joy, from freedom, from love and life.

We believe that we come alive as we mend, but we also come alive when we reach up and reach out.

We want to dig down deep and muster the grit within us, reach out our hands, and pull one another to the light, because we don’t believe that we’re meant to always live in the darkness."

It’s worth it: #Love in the face of #Death. @lexibehrndt

"It’s a painful thing losing someone you love. It wrecks you at your very core. It shatters you, as they take a piece of your heart with them as they go. It is earth-shaking and dream-crushing and horrible in every way imaginable.

And it is worth every single second— every beat of their heart, every whispered prayer, every ounce of love given, every time you held their hand, every tear shed, every smile, every kiss, every lullaby and every single time they looked at you with soulful eyes, and told you in their own way, 'I love you, too.' They are worth it all.

Take it from me.

Choose the harder path. Love until you feel like your heart has given all it has, and then give a little more."

5 Things #Grief Taught Me

"Six years inside complicated grief taught me many things. Five of them I can put into words and onto paper. I have a feeling I will be learning from her the rest of my life..."

#Childhood #Bereavement #Care Pyramid

"In the absence of a national approach to childhood bereavement care in Ireland, the pyramid is a guide  for professionals and concerned adults in identifying and responding to the needs of children and young people who have experienced a loss.

An expert group working in the area of childhood bereavement was convened to review the adult and child bereavement literature and pertinent policies (international and local), in order to establish existing models of bereavement care and core dimensions of best practice.  From this review and building on practice experience, a framework was created and piloted with medical, social work and educational professionals and parents".

On #Parenting: There is no 'normal' when it comes to #kids and #grief. And that’s okay

"We stopped talking. I rocked back and forth on her bed, holding her close, reverting to the keening motion every human leans into when things get that bad. It was the same way I held my husband in August and again in September, and the same way he reached for me in November, the wordless soothing rhythm of a parent and child.

Our guests would be okay downstairs. We sat together in the dark. And I let her cry, and cry, and cry. Broken open, edges jagged, ready to grieve".